Comparison is a standard part of our everyday lives. We compare prices of the products we buy to ensure we're getting the best deal; the speed of different routes from point A to point B; the benefits of one choice over the other. By comparing things to one another we unconsciously assign value and label our options accordingly—for one thing to be better, something else has to be worse. Too often, however, the basis for our comparisons falls on our own perception of self-worth in relation to other human beings.
It is hard, if not impossible, to completely ignore social media—who among us doesn't have a daily (or hourly) routine for checking all of our accounts across the web? Constantly being aware of the inconsequential happenings of our most distant acquaintances has its allure, I guess, but social media presence is generally superficial. Technology has made it easy to portray our lives as more than they actually are and impossible to look away from the mostly fabricated lives of others. Such easy access to a complete collection of human experiences—real or otherwise—lends itself to an array of negative perceptions about ourselves including the highly popularized phenomena of the fear of missing out (or "FOMO," as it has apparently become widespread enough to be worthy of an acronym) as well as feelings of inadequacy caused by the outward appearance that everyone else is doing things or creating themselves in ways we feel we have or can not.
When we compare ourselves to others we focus on the things about ourselves we feel most negatively about. We overlook the good qualities and skills we already possess or inherit the fear that someone else is better than we are even at the things we do well. It's not exactly breaking news, but it bears repeating—someone will always be better than you at something. We need not be the best at something for that aspect of our personality to still matter. Getting caught up in a competition you yourself have created and set yourself up to lose from the start doesn't encourage you to improve, nor does it foster any kind of personal growth. Comparing ourselves to others holds us back from becoming our best selves as we become singleminded in our goal to transform into someone else entirely.
The heart of comparison also lies in expectation—particularly the things we expect of ourselves and the things others (particularly our family or close friends) expect of us. The way we view the perceived achievements of others causes us to reevaluate our current position in life and wonder if we are winning or losing, "better" or "worse" in the comparative sense. Despite the fact that others are just as likely to be looking at us and feeling the same type of self-doubt, we are unable to see this and question if others notice the shortcomings we have become aware of. Feeling personally inadequate is bad enough, but believing others can also discern your shortcomings is detrimental in a much more discouraging way.
Comparison can lead to competition. It can motivate, inspire, and make people want to be better. An inability to stop comparing our every last choice, thought, and attribute, however, will not end so positively. Dwelling too heavily on negative views of ourselves while glorifying the every move of others teaches us that we can never fully achieve the things we want or be the person we want to be, which is absolutely untrue. While it is important to always strive for more, it is equally important to be inwardly happy with who you are. True contentment will not come from a feeling of superiority above others, but from knowing you are always moving forward, always improving, and not letting doubt or hopelessness stand in your way.
