I've written an article before how I feel about sexuality, and I've defined it and the premise of the word, but for the sake of argument, here it is again: Sexuality: a person's sexual orientation or preference. I myself identify as both bisexual and biromantic, (I'll get to romantic orientations later on), and I've been pretty confident in my sexuality, especially since I started college and was officially allowed to come out. I didn't come out in high school, because I was afraid of the hate and backlash that I was bound to receive for being bisexual in such a small town setting. However, when I did come out, I thought I would be granted into a community that was built on love and support, and more importantly, understanding.
I was wrong.
The LGBT movement started in the 1960s, the decade of sexual liberation and experimentation. It started with gay men and then shifted its focus onto lesbians. The acronym LGBT wasn't coined until the year 1988, yet this still included only gay men and lesbians. However, it seemed that the community became more accepting in the 1990s, allowing people that identified as bisexual and transgender to be equally accepted within the community. This is all well and good, until we fast forward to the present, and it seems that the community is more divided than ever.
Before go any further, there are some terms that I need to define:
Pansexuality: sexual attraction to a person of any sex or gender.
Asexuality: a person who has no sexual feelings or desires
Demisexuality: someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond.
Romantic Orientation: refers to an individual's pattern of romantic attraction based on a person's gender.
The above sexualties are all valid, real, and belong in the LGBT+ community. None of these sexualities are straight, so why not be apart of the LGBT+ community, right? Wrong. A ton of people, not all, seem to agree that 1. Pansexuality isn't real, 2. Demisexuality is fake, and 3. Asexuality is just a phase. For the sake of this article, I'd like to just sum it up in a few words: these identities are all valid.
The big reason why asexuality is rejected from the LGBT+ community so often is because they do not experience sexual attraction towards anyone. (Though, they still can and often do have sex for various reasons). People within the community argue that unless Asexuals have romantic attraction towards their same gender or multiple genders, they don't belong, and that also asexuals don't experience the oppression that the rest of us do. However, when searching online, you can come across multiple horror stories of people trying to 'fix' asexuals, whether it be from assault, rape, or conversion therapy. Hey, aces? There's nothing wrong with you.
Pansexuality doesn't get the credit it deserves because people seem to believe that people who identify as pan are just bisexuals who want to be special. Bisexuality, to me, is about the person's sex, while pansexuals look beyond sex, and are accepting of more than one gender. (And yes, there are multiple genders.) This also ties into demisexuals, which also get casted out as not be real. Hey, pan peeps and demis? You're all beautiful and valid, okay?
Moral of the story is: Sometimes the LGBT+ community is awful, and is really picky about who we accept and who we don't accept.
