As I'm sitting in my musty study room crammed in the corner of the GCSU Library I think to myself, how long have I been here? What year is it? Do I still have a pulse or is that the bass of my study playlist blaring through my headphones? My array of tantalizing questions stem from my stress-induced state that is culminated from finals week, my body is in limbo. I think back, how did I get here?
I'm relatively sure it all started after I woke up from a mashed potato coma, here is my best estimation of the events leading to my finals week breakdown. The week of Thanksgiving is over and Hell week is in full effect; from projects and presentations stacked on top of each other to teachers cramming the last couple of tests and papers in, it is the last thing you need before your end of the semester finals.
None the less, there is no mercy when it comes to last minute due dates. If you're not careful you may find yourself googling the salary of a late night infomercial host and checking the local listings for job openings, after all who doesn't get a little riled up about half off tupperware? In reality, you knew this week was coming and fast, it was inevitable, so you might as well prepare to deal with it. There are so many essential study tips and valuable review guides online to equip you for the hectic week ahead, but everyone knows the best time to deal with the impending doom of finals week, is later.
As a senior, I find procrastination isn't necessarily a characteristic of just any overwhelmed college student, but more of a chronic condition in need of a cure (research pending). Now it seems you've found yourself reading my article, so you might as well face the facts and accept that this is your well-deserved study break. Here are some common thoughts I continue to find running through my mind every finals week thus far.
1. Of course my teacher will round my 71.8 to a 91%, why wouldn't she?
2. I couldn't possibly need any more sleep than the 3 hours I had 2 days ago, right?
3. This is only my 3rd cup of coffee this hour. Why am I shaking? Probably caffeine withdrawal. I should go grab another espresso.
4. Is that kid really crying or do you think he is faking it?
5. Unless that kid is a science major I'm about to go give him something to cry about.
6. Do I smell? OMG, I totally have a weird smell. Wait, nevermind that's my PB and J I've been saving in my backpack.
7. I need a nap, immediately.
8. Am I dizzy from lack of hydration or because I've been huffing open expo markers the last six hours trying to solve this equation we never went over in class.
9. Do I have a balance due at the library circulation desk? I've been here for 5 days when is my rent check due?
10. *Spends 45 minutes trying to calculate the grade I need instead of actually studying the material*
11. Should I just wing it? I mean honestly how hard could this cumulative final be? It's only everything we've learned all year.
12. So, how out of line would it be if I wrote to the President of the United States asking him to email my teacher to let this one slide. I would definitely call this a state of emergency.
13. Now would be a perfect time to nap, if I wasn't in the middle of taking my final. Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a second.
14. WHAT IF I JUST DON'T GO? WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? FAIL ME? Okay, so I have to go totally skipping it is out of the question. Next option?
15. Final grades are in and I'm standing at an 89%, what do you do? Buy your teacher a puppy, pay off their mortgage, wash their car between finals, staple a $20 to the scantron, is my grade still an 89%? * Wink*
16. Okay I'm just going to take a quick break. *Checks every social media*. *Takes a 25 minute break organizing highlighters*. *Checks social media again*. *Cooks & eats a full course meal*. *Checks social media one more time*. *Moves countries.* *Opens up word document*, "Ah okay let's begin, wait is that a Twitter notification I see?"
17. Wait, am I getting a tan from the glow of my laptop? I don't know... I feel kind of bronzed, maybe I should amp up the brightness?
18. I could nap right here? Really how bad could pavement be? The crosswalk looks enticing?
19. Am I speaking out loud or is this all in my head because I'm getting pretty strange looks right about now. Whatever, they say people who talk to themselves are more intelligent, right?
20. FINALS WEEK IS OVER AND I MADE IT OUT ALIVE, okay, barely. That wasn't so bad, huh?
