When stopping to think that in a month and half I am going to be a full time college student, the thoughts that are racing through my head consist of all things ranging from, eagerness, excitement, anxiety, and the thrill of waiting to see what my future has to bring me.

I find myself wondering about what I'm going to do if I get homesick and miss my mom's homemade manti (Armenian dumplings), or if I'm laying in my bed at night and a random thought of anxiousness strikes and I can't sleep because I'm afraid I'm not going to do well in my classes or that I'm never going to get along with my roommate. What if I don't make friends? What if I hate it? What if my grades suck?

Wait. Hold on. I know what to do, or at least I think I know what to do. Last night, while out to sushi with my parents, I was asking my mom, "Mom, seriously, what do I do if my anxiety gets bad?" And the one answer that I received from my dad was, "Well, Ninosh, you're gonna have to figure it out." The one thing that makes me want to carry my dad's answer with me for probably the rest of my life is that, my parents believe in me enough to stand my ground and to take the time to finally find the strength and courage they have raised me with, on a level so personal, that I will be able to one day be that person to answer my own questions, while eating mango avocado sushi, when I find myself in a moment of vulnerability and imperfectly beautiful anxiousness.

I know that once I get to college, the adjustment is obviously going to be a little difficult and a lot different than high school, but the way I see it, or choose to see it at least is, college is going to be the place where I can learn more about myself in ways that are going to open up my eyes regarding what I am capable of not only as just another person, but more importantly, what I am capable of as someone who wants to change the world and learn more about the people I share this life with.

Reading that last paragraph back, all I can say is, "Wow, how much more cliche can you get?" But I mean in a sense, how else can I describe or pour my heart out in an authentic way, where I am trying to visualize, how I want to live my life while at the same time stumbling across the pieces that are going to help teach me exactly how I want to live my life, and to me, not only is college the perfect venue to branch out and try new things that maybe in the past never brought you and interest or maybe made you believe you had no interest because it was fear that was tricking your mind, but is the place to stop, breathe, and simply, figure it out.

I have no problem living with the thought of not knowing what's going to happen tomorrow, because honestly, where's the journey in that? Life is a journey right? If I constantly know my destination, what's the point of learning how to read the map, or booking the plane ticket, or even agreeing to the best cross country road trip of my entire life?

Accepting the fact that I am officially a college student, is the validation I need when it comes to actually wanting to live in a way that is going to keep me on my toes high enough, to determine myself to want to make it to the top, but stopping to enjoy the view at every point in my journey that life leads me to.

College, here I come, and guess what, I can't wait.