It’s crazy to think that about nine months ago, I was dropped off in this foreign place that I was told to live in with hundreds of other strangers, a roommate, and was told that I’d learn to love it. That it would be a new home to me before too long. I have to admit, I despised the dorms at first. I’m not sure if it was the lack of privacy, the constant adjusting to shared possessions, or stepping out of my comfort zone to meet the other floor nine residents, but I dreaded going back to the dorms after class every day.

However, slowly but surely, things changed.

I don’t exactly know where my opinions on dorm life started to shift. I found myself going back to my floor in between classes to see what people on the floor were in the lounge to hang out with. I’d stay up till four in the morning talking to the other girls despite the lingering dread of an eight a.m. approaching. I’d give up some studying time to go grab food and not feel one ounce of regret because that is the kind of stuff that I know I will remember when I am older, not the test.

It was not until one day walking back from class on a Friday afternoon and talking to my mom on the phone when she asked me where I was headed, and I said “home.” A gasp caught in her throat as she asked me if I meant home-home or the dorm. I was actually surprised when I realized I meant the dorm. I had made a home here. One I was accustomed to and loved. One I wasn’t ready to leave when the end of the semester came. But just like that, it was gone.

Now I am back home, or “home-home.” It feels weird. It’s like I am in a place that I know as home and yet I’m excited to move in three months back to my old home, except it’s actually my new home. If that makes sense.

I have spent the last week catching up on things that happened while I was gone, and it feels like an outsider learning about my own life. I’ve been wanting to be with friends from back home, yet I do not want to fall behind with my new friends. College is a constant change of space and change of atmosphere. I want to embrace being home and soak in all of the things that I grew up with, but I’m already ready to get back to the place that is shaping me as an adult. While it’s a little bit of a struggle sometimes to balance all that I have going on, I’m beginning to realize it more of a balance of blessings.

So, thank you mom and dad, for allowing me to go off to college and create twice the amount of friends, twice the amount of love, and twice the amount of places I’m lucky enough to call home.