Parents' Weekend: the much-feared yet highly-anticipated weekend of the fall semester in which college students everywhere have to put on a smile to convince their parents that yes, they have been on their best behavior and studying every single night (and no, they did not go to a mixer on a Tuesday night when they had a huge exam the next morning). It's a time for students to show off how amazing their college is to their parents, convince their mothers that they are being safe and smart and don't need them calling or texting every hour to be sure, and for the students to be spoiled with non-dorm food and shopping (with their parents' credit card, of course). Be prepared for these inevitable situations and reactions during parents' weekend:
Situation #1: Cheating on your diet of Ramen and EasyMac
Before: "I'm so excited for my parents to come to down so I can go out to a fancy restaurant and not have to eat cafeteria food for the twentieth time this week."
During: "This. is. the. BEST. meal. of. my. life."
After: "Oh my gosh, my mom is trying to make me fat. Why did I eat out all weekend? I need a salad."
Situation #2: The pig-sty you call your room
Before: "I need to clean my room (and hide the belongings that I don't want my parents to see) before this weekend so it at least looks like my life is together."
During: "I'm never letting my room get messy again."
Situation #3: The full-yet-somehow-always-empty closet
Before: "I have no clothes. I'm going to convince my parents to take me shopping."
During: "Oh no! You really don't have to buy me all of these clothes, mom. You're being way too nice."
After: "I have no clothes. I need to go shopping again."
Situation #4: Goodbye, social life.
Before: "I guess I won't be able to go to any fun tailgates before the game on Saturday."
During: "Hey, mom and dad! Do you guys want to go to a frat party with me?"
After: "Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but I'm pretty sure my parents are wilder than me."
Situation #5: Meet the bad influences I call my best friends.
Before: "My parents are going to embarrass me in front of all of my new friends."
During: "I think my friends want to hang out with my parents more than me."
After: "Now I'm sure. My parents like my best friends more than me. Why won't they stop talking about them?"
Situation #6: I'm a grown adult; I don't need my parents.
Before: "I miss my parents! I'm so excited to see them."
During: "Alright, now I remember why I moved out in the first place."
After: "I miss them already."