Even with all the positives surrounding move-in after a lonely three months of summer, one negative definitely looms for most of us -- the exhausting process of packing up everything that symbolizes your rampant consumerism and negligent budgeting when it comes to home decor.
With piles of stuff needing to be stuffed into your mom's little Honda civic, starting in on the monster that is downsizing is beyond intimidating. Especially when you still inexplicably find yourself adding to the madness with more and more Target-level cute housewares. The situation can be terrifying, leaving many of us back-to-schoolers laying in bed surrounded by packing materials bought with good intentions but ignored until the night before leaving.
But Cardi B probably doesn't fear packing. She also probably doesn't pack much of her own things, but her iconic wisdom still offers some solace to those of us struggling through these final days.
1. Staring down the mountains of stuff you've accumulated this summer that you now have to pack and trying not to let it sense your fear
The trick is to avoid flinching and hold onto a big roll of duct tape. (Disclaimer: the toughest items will still scoff unless you wield some high-quality packing tape.)
2. Doing the math and crunching the numbers exactly right so you can fit all of your makeup into one bag like a complicated, way more expensive game of Tetris
3. Finding the $20 you forgot you stashed away to keep yourself from buying even more stuff to pack and feeling like you've beat the rat race and really made it
4. Getting distracted by a throwback jam that blesses your Pandora station
How could you have forgotten how much you love 00s Jennifer Lopez? It's been a while since you've practiced your Jenny-from-the-block moves -- time to take a few hours long dance break to refresh yourself.
5. Finding your favorite pair of weekend jeans and discovering they're not gonna make it over your cheese-fry sponsored summer thighs
Who can work out without a gym three steps away from your dorm?
6. Trying a different outfit and refinding your self-confidence
Featuring a convenient, but mandatory, admiration break and a few selfies to remind your new roommates how lucky they're going to be to see you every day.
7. When all your stuff has formed a three-story castle around you and you're forced to fight your way out of the carnage
Plus eventually giving up and just taking a nap covered by the PBTeen sheets you bought freshman year.
8. Fitting all your clothes into one suitcase
It may have taken two hours and the help of all your family members to finish zipping it -- but you've achieved something beautiful today.
9. Finding a picture of you and your bestie from freshman year and shedding a few tears
10. Coming to the realization you could've just shoved everything into garbage bags and called it a day
11. Reaching the conclusion that you're just doomed to hate packing.
