When I was preparing to move out and go to my first year of college, I wanted to be ready. I looked up dorm packing lists online and watched probably 90 percent of the “college tips and advice” videos on YouTube, because I’m not one to go into a new experience without knowing what to expect. What am I, laid back and adventurous?

So, I watched those videos and I read those lists and I listened to the advice people gave me in person. I heard all the “dos” and “don’ts,” and truthfully, those comments were helpful and definitely relieved a lot of the anxiety I had about leaving home. However, there was also an overwhelming amount of false or exaggerated information that I was given that lead to a great deal of emotional distress. It took me until I had been in college for a long time before I realized how badly these myths were affecting me, and my biggest regret is that I let them determine my level of personal growth and success. Here’s one more “college advice” list, and it’s composed of myths that I heard and my counter-opinions. I hope it helps keep anyone else from feeling the way I did my first two years at school.

1. “Everybody parties in college.”

Okay, okay. This is one that I told myself every day for the first year. I felt like some kind of sad sack because taking shots and blacking out was not my idea of a good time. I’m too stubborn to change who I am, so I just spent the year criticizing my choices and wishing that I were like everybody else. In all actuality, about 70 percent of students in college drink, but they drink moderately–four or fewer drinks at any given event. Twenty percent of college students don’t drink at all, and 10 percent drink heavily or “problematically.” Not only that, but of those 10 percent, two-thirds toned down their alcohol use as the months or years of college went on.* This was so hard for me to believe, even though I’ve heard these statistics many times from many different sources. Really, though, guys. Not everyone in college hardcore parties.

2. “College is so much harder than high school, and your teachers will not remind you about tests or give you any homework besides a midterm and a final.”

Wow. That's intense. It really depends on the teacher, but I’ve never had one who didn’t remind the class about big tests. Just come to class and read the syllabus to avoid overlooking smaller homework assignments. I have had a couple Psych classes that only had three midterms and a final (which is typical for a lot of different classes), but that’s so much better, in my opinion, than the busy work you’re given in high school. Plus, attendance can really boost your grade in a lot of those classes. Seriously, GO TO CLASS.

3. “Everyone’s friends with everybody in college. You don’t really have a ‘group.'”

Listen, good sir. You have entered college and not the void, right? College is still real life, and in real life, there are people who have tighter groups of friends as well as people who like to mix with larger social circles. Both are completely fine and both exist in college. I’m the type of person who defines friendships differently than some other people who prefer those larger circles. If I have a few people who I like and have hung out with a couple times, that's great, but the lack of deep connection makes me feel like we’re only acquaintances, and therefore makes me feel friendless. So, having many, less deep friendships doesn’t cut it for me like it might for someone else. They’re lovely; I’m lovely. We’re just different.

4. “You will magically change when you go off to college.”

I was disappointed to learn that I was still myself when I entered college. My face didn’t get better, nor did my level of flirting skills, unfortunately. You won’t just miraculously transform into a new version of yourself. You can reinvent yourself and fix your flaws, but just as long as you work as hard on it as you would back in your hometown. You never need to change, though. There’s so much to learn that you will grow naturally. I promise. Just because college is a chance to change your entire personality doesn’t mean you have to seize the opportunity. This was the most wishy-washy way on earth to say, “work hard to change if you want to; stay your original self and naturally grow if you want to.”

5. “College will be the best four years of your life.”

I just mentioned that college is still real life, so now let me tell you something that's so important I’m going to type it in bold: college is four years of your life. That’s it. It might also be the best four, but it might not be. It’s just four years out of the many more that you have had and will have. Honestly, no one sits back in the moment and thinks, “Wow. This is it. I am in the midst of the best four years of my life. I must cherish it.” They think that looking back. But most people observe the past wearing rose-colored lenses, and they overlook all of the moments when they spent Halloween alone in their room or stayed up until 5 a.m. finishing an essay or slept through their Biology test. That’s not to say that college is one big pile of crap and adults are lying to you, but that is to say that there’s no pressure to be enjoying yourself all the time. College is just life. And what do you do with life? You live it.

*Holloway, Patricia B., and Gary M. Holloway. “Alcohol Use in College.”Alcohol Use in College. Villanova University, Web. 31 July. 2015.