Today’s the day! We, as college students, have always been known how to strategically plan out the always-postponed but much-needed laundry day. There is a situation in the “college world” that all students know all too well … yup, I am going to say it. You are down to your last pair of underwear and going commando is just not an option. So you are finally forced to face your demons, call mom if you have to, and finally do your laundry.
You try to get hyped for laundry day by blasting music while you pull out your two week old favorite jeans with finals week coffee still lingering down the leg, tanks stuffed into desk drawers and possibly even your roommate’s favorite tee from the various corners of your room. Yeah, there is probably even a stray sock under your microwave and the match is most likely under your bed.
Thanks mom, for the abundance of laundry detergent, dryer sheets, and all the other scented crap you sent with me. Not knowing how to use half of the unidentified bottles you have in the basket, you finally grab and crack open the only somewhat familiar package -- a new detergent bottle. Wait, what is that smell … oh yeah, clean sheets.
Finally on your way to the laundry room, you smile with triumph after finding that cute shirt with the laser cat on the front that you lost a month ago when you were up at the 'Crest for that Monster Cookie binge. Somehow it found its way down the side of the bed, behind the guitar case, and hidden behind a huge mound of unwashed socks. Okay, let’s get to it. Separating clothes is easy, right? Darks … lights, hot … cold, sweatpants … silk shirts. Oh, but then maybe this is new to you, college students whose mommy has always done their laundry. Shout out to that freshman guy in Founder’s Hall last year who actually managed to get his mother to come in to do his laundry! You the real MVP! Anyway, if I’ve lost you already, whatever, just put everything in a washing machine. Cold. Much safer for those of you domestically challenged!
Set a timer on your phone because by the looks of the laundry room, you may only have minutes before your ugly Christmas sweater is evicted from the washer but carefully folded and thoughtfully placed in a clean bin. Right! The room is a wasteland of assorted unclaimed clothing mixed with rolling tumbleweeds of grey dryer lint and old dryer sheets. Is that a pair of metallic parachute pants?
Finally, the chimes of your phone jolt you from your Netflix binge. Time to run to that laundry room to scope out the dryers. Popping open the lid of the washing machine, the flooding scent of just a little too much detergent overwhelms you as you discover your new pink shirt … pink socks … and well, pink everything. Weren’t those white when you started?
Next, you lay claim to the dryer you scoped out earlier. Oh look, the top dryers are open! Jokes! I can't put my clothes up there; I am too short, at five foot zero inches, to make sure there is no sock left behind. Disclaimer: do not place those scent beads in a dryer! Yes, they are 100 percent washing machine use only! Rest in peace to the first year student’s clothing that I personally witnessed dried with those sweet smelling orbs that melt into a gooey mess rendering those jeans useless forever.
Okay, throw everything in the dryer and set another timer. You know have at least a half hour for homework … or Netflix. You have to find out, after all, what happens between Meredith and Derek on "Grey’s Anatomy’s" chronic roller-coaster! Priorities!
The battle is over as you finally take all your clothing out of the dryer. Now all you need to finish is to fold everything or at least stuff it into a drawer out of sight, rock your new pink wardrobe, and unfortunately toss out yet another favorite shirt that dried just a little too long and now looks like you raided your little sister’s closet.
You may now celebrate! You now have clean underwear which should last either seven or 14 days, depending on whether you turn them inside out or not until next laundry day. (Not recommended!)




















