My college apartment is adorned with mementos of the past—from seashells from my past summer spent on Catalina Island to photos of my high school memories. By keeping a standing record of the past, I constantly remind myself of who I used to be, and how that person has played a role in the development of the person I aspire to be. Moving to Los Angeles to begin school at the University of Southern California was quite possibly one the most difficult and most rewarding experiences of my entire life. Even in high school, I knew I would not only have to move out of my home, but that I would have to move far from home in order to evolve into the person I desired to become. I had all of the best intentions at heart for my future self when I committed to the University of Southern California; however, I had no idea just how many storms, and how many highs, would play into such an immense amount of growth in such a short period of time. And now when I look back at the mementos scattered across my apartment, I see two different people; the person I was before I moved to USC and the person I am slowly becoming.
The moment I entered high school, I transformed into a visionary. I did not know exactly what I wanted to do or how I would do it, but I did know that a rigorous work ethic would put me on a road to success. I remember quite vividly the moment I received the grades back from my first semester of high school. Nothing was altogether too hard. I managed to score all A’s on my transcript. And next to my first semester GPA was my class ranking. With all A’s, I was ranked number one—as were many of my peers. But seeing that figure catalyzed a new passion, and motivation within myself. I vowed I would not let that number change, and I worked very diligently throughout high school to ensure that I would fulfill the promise that I had made myself. My work ethic shaped itself outside of school as well, I participated in a number of extracurricular activities and sports. I even scored an internship at Lockheed Martin Company my senior year of high school working on procedure writing for the OSIRIS-REx spacecraft.
I may have been visionary in high school, but I was still very clueless deep down. I knew that receiving high scores on my tests and maintaining a high GPA would help me get into a top notch university, but that was all I knew. My whole mission in high school was to set up the pathway for the rest of my life. I structured my life so that I would appeal to the admission departments at many of the best universities in the nation. Because of my internship at Lockheed Martin, I was pretty dead set on becoming an engineer during my application process. I sought out the best engineering schools and sent in my applications. After receiving acceptance letters from various institutions, I made the decision to attend the University of Southern California as an astronautical engineer. It would take a long and most difficult year, wrought with stress, and anxiety for me to finally figure out who I was, and what I actually wanted to do.
Many of my friends at school point people in my direction who are considering changing their major, because I am an expert on changing majors at this point—I have officially changed my major six times now. I hopped around in the engineering school for my first year of college. I switched from astronautical to biomedical engineering on the first day of lecture. Biomedical was more bearable for me than astronautical engineering, but the lack of career opportunities in biomedical engineering at the career fair haunted me. The next semester I switched to electrical engineering and took my first computer science class. Even though the programming class was quite intense, it was a form of intensity that I enjoyed. I then switched into the Computer Science program which would be a turning point in my collegiate evolution.
Just the physical act of moving out of the suburbs of Lakewood to the metropolis of Los Angeles was quite the shock. The food, the culture, even the physical landscape was so much different from Colorado. I am just now, after about two years, starting to adapt to Los Angeles lifestyle. Living independently for the first time was quite the hassle. I remember the first time I got sick. Purchasing my own medicine and making my own decisions of what I could actually do was far more difficult than I realized. I basically only ate the dining hall food my entire freshmen year, and I started to miss the small luxuries of home. The goldfish in the pantry, the array of soaps in the medicine cabinet, and the elaborate comforters and blankets on my bed. I had to learn to grow up and the grow up fast; I did not have time to worry about the practices of adulting, I just had to become an adult. The period of swift and forced learning came so swiftly and sternly that looking back over just that year, I metamorphosed into a new person.
About midway through my introductory computer programming class, I had a meltdown. My friend Max and I had coded for almost 36 hours straight with still no end in sight. I sat in my chair mourning the hours of sacrificed sleep and time. I was not healthy, my body was in discord, and my mind was fried. I could not sustain this new lifestyle that was overcoming me. I felt like a robot crunching out numbers and programs, things that I did not even care for. Max and I made a thought out and difficult decision to drop the course and to save ourselves from the unhealthy habits and workload we had taken on. This decision would be a turning point in my development.
Before I switched into Computer Science, I spent the summer on Catalina Island as an Undergraduate Researcher for the Archaeology department. I was so fascinated and interested in the work I had completed between the Spatial Sciences Institute and the Archaeology department that I am very confused why I switched from Electrical Engineering to Archaeology and then to Computer Science. I was content in Archaeology, but I think the fear of not finding a job ate away at my new foundation, and thrust me to change back into a STEM related discipline. Now I am pursuing a degree in Archaeology with a double minor in Geospatial Intelligence and programming.
Spending the summer on Catalina Island was in fact surreal. Not only did I have the opportunity to hike all over the island collecting spring locations, I had the chance to snorkel and to just sit back and enjoy the island each and every day. That is what really fueled me. My love for the natural world is unparalleled, it fascinates me, it intrigues me, and I absolutely love it. Some of my favorite memories have been either in the coastal waters surrounding Catalina or on the mainland of Catalina itself. The high strung and intensity of the engineering work was something that seemed good for me in the long run, but I am no engineer. I understand physics, and numbers, but that is not what makes me move. Over just a year and half, I found myself and the dreams that I intend to make reality. I once had a vision to make it to a good school, but I had no idea what my destination was from there. After sacrificing sleep, and time, and becoming so lost that the world seemed only beak, I found the light that makes me tick. I look back over the pictures posted on my wall and I see hope and determination, a child with the will to succeed. I still see the same fervent spirit throughout the current day pictures, but now I see the toll of all the stress and anxiety during that first year. The man in the photos is much more weathered than the carefree child from the past; however, despite all the change and the growth, I am better than I have ever been. Sometimes you have to brave the storm to find out who you really are.
