Everyone knows the stereotype of the college freshman jitters. For many, it's their first time living somewhere other than their family home and their first breath of true independence in adult life. It's something new, and like many first experiences in life, it is filled with the unknown. People are nervous and long for the comfort of their familiar childhood homes, it is normal.

When I started college, I was the textbook definition of a nervous freshman, I was constantly overprepared for everything, sat quietly in lecture waiting for others to talk to me first, and filled my mind with this idea of what college was supposed to be. It didn't take me long to realize that the way college is commonly perceived in media is very far from the reality of it. I didn't spend every weekend partying, I didn't get to sleep in until noon every day, and there is definitely an equal mixture of work and play. I didn't make a ton of friends and I missed home more often than I would ever admit to someone's face, some people just don't click with college, and I think I am one of those people.

Eventually, I chalked it down to it just being a rough freshman year, and I would have a fresh start when I came back the following fall as a sophomore. I decided I would do all of the "right things" this year to change my attitude toward college, I surrounded myself with student organizations that aligned with my interests and I even changed my major and started on a path towards redefining my college experience,

But then what happens when you reach the halfway point of your sophomore year and you would still rather be at your actual home?

At the current state I am in, I am the happiest I have been since I began college a year and a half ago. I truly do believe I am exactly where I need to be to achieve my goals and work towards the best future for myself. But still, constantly some of that is overshadowed by the fact that my heart is somewhere else. After all of this time, I still find myself longing for the comfort and love of my home nearly every day and suddenly these feelings that were considered normal when I was a freshman start to become less widely common among my friends and peers as they accept and enjoy college as their newfound homes. No matter what I do I cannot seem to shake this idea that everyone and everything I love is waiting for me back at my family home.

I have often heard it said that college feels like "your home away from home", but for me, it has felt like a buffer stage between my childhood and adulthood - just another stage I have to get through before I begin my real life.

I don't feel at home here, but perhaps I'm wrong, I will continue to remain open-minded as I carry on with my college career.