Remember those scenes of college parties in House Bunny, Blue Mountain State, and Legally Blonde? Well forget them. Forget these images and and re-imagine walking through a sewer, getting drinks poured on you, and sweating like a pig. I hate to take the nice image of Elle Woods in a bunny costume walking through a civil party out of your mind but let’s be honest: frat houses are not going to like the classy Sweet Sixteen parties and Bar Mitzvahs that you may have experienced in the past. As a freshman, I came in with a whole new wardrobe of dresses, skirts, and fancy heels. I was ready and I wanted to look like an $100 bill every single night. Needless to say, it hasn’t happened. I didn’t even make it the first month of college without obtaining brown converse, bucket stains on clothes, and quite a few bruises from when I had attempted to take off my heels and go barefoot in a frat (worst idea ever). I am not trying to scare anyone away from going out because trust me it is fun and you will regret it if you don’t at least try to go out. However, I am here to give you the ultimate guide on what to wear and the Do’s and Dont’s of going out when you get to college.
1. Frat Shoes
Don’t worry if they are the ugliest things you have ever seen. Wear Crocs for Christ’s sake! I highly suggest getting the really cheap fake Keds from Target or going to Payless and getting tennis shoes. There is no avoiding the amount of beer and mud sludge that covers the floor of a fraternity house. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise. Please leave your heels and white Adidas sneakers at home (trust me, mine are both in the garbage now).
2. Water Bottle
If you must bring alcohol out of your dorm, do not ever carry it in a Red Solo Cup or the handle itself. You are straight up asking for a campus police to approach you. It’s not about looking cool or making a scene so that everyone knows you’re drunk. Keep this information to yourself because you do not want to be written up. Always carry stuff in a water bottle or a purse if you must.
3. Figure out where you're going BEFORE you leave
This is important because you absolutely do not want an annoyed Uber driver, trust me. These people want to make money, they don’t want to have you in their car when you’re trying to figure out if you are going to Beta or Lambda that night. Also, if you are walking this is even worse. You do not want to walk around aimlessly, especially when you’re drunk. Know the Frat map like the back of your hand and make plans with your friends before you leave your home or the pregame, it will save a lot of time and frustration.
4. Do not brag about how drunk you are
You probably all drank a good amount and are starting to feel it, do not be the obnoxious one. There are plenty of people who enter college and have never had a drink before and that is totally okay. However, if that applies to you or you tend to get a little carried away with drinking, keep it to yourself. No one likes the friend that can’t walk after the pregame and is constantly telling anyone and everything his or her level of intoxication. Be chill people.
5. Hold it together at Late Night
If you choose, there is usually food available after your intense night of drinking and partying. This food will be awesome and you are going to want to scream out to the world that you are so happy to be stuffing your mouth with chicken nuggets and mac n’ cheese. Do not. Stay calm and whatever you do, try to act civil and somewhat sober. There will be cops and adults there and you don’t want to be that person that can’t finish your nugs because you got kicked out.
6. Cheap Clothes
10 dollar and under crop tops from Forever 21, funny t-shirts, or dollar store themed costume clothes are all recommended. Do not wear your white dress to a Holiday party because you will get chocolate sauce and liquor poured on them… just saying. Avoid white and light clothing and do not get upset when you get that first drunk a**h*** to spill beer on you. People trying to dance drunkenly in small spaces doesn’t end well. You can still look nice while staying under budget.You will save money and care less about the endless amount of stains.
7. Do NOT forget your key
Attach your room key to a hair tie, hide it somewhere or trust one of your more sober friends to keep it for you. Put your card in the back of your phone and hold onto it for dear life. THIS IS IMPORTANT. Trust me, you do not want to get home at 4 a.m. to realize that all your hallmates asleep and that is the night your roommate has decided to sleep out. You will have nights sleeping on the steps of your building or your common room couch, yes it is an experience but no it is not fun.
8. Don't mess with the music
If you see the aux plugged into a phone at the frat party do not touch it. Either you will be blacklisted or you will get a ton of dirty looks. Also do not trip over the speaker cord or break anything. Trust me from experience, if the music stops everyone will get much more angry than you could ever imagine. They are drunk and were dancing their hearts out, you don’t want to be the one responsible for affecting that.
9. Do NOT go home with the first random person you meet
Just because a guy/girl asked you to come home with them, does not mean you automatically have to no matter how drunk you are. Hold out for that person you really wanted to ask you dance. Be hard to get and do not drunkenly throw yourself, especially at upperclassman. Or just don’t go home with a rando in general. Nothing good happens past 2 a.m. and you do not want to wake up the next morning and not remember how you got in this stranger’s bed.
