Growing up, the eldest of four girls, all the pressure of being the “big sister” were constantly hovering over my conscience. The unwanted responsibility I was given often led me to resent my little sisters and many, many fights were had… as most siblings do. Going to college felt like a blessing; I couldn’t wait to have my own space and live life away from the expectations of being a role model for my parents.
Unexpectedly, the freedom of being on my own wasn’t the only thing moving out brought me. Homesickness is a real thing and for me, it first came in the feeling of missing my sisters. It was weird not having them down the hall. I missed eating breakfast together every morning and going over what happened at school each afternoon. Not knowing exactly what was going on in their lives just as they experienced it was a really weird feeling that I never thought I would have.
Coming home felt different like I was witnessing my family from an outsider’s perspective. My life at home went on without me as my sisters continued to grow up in my childhood home. I still have a place there, however, it’s different now. School, my new home, has changed me and I have grown in my own ways. The responsibilities that felt forced before now don’t seem like such a burden, it’s simply a part of life that needs to be managed. I believe that now I am able to really be a positive influence in their lives, not only because I am older and more experienced, but because I understand what it is like without them and I truly have the desire to be a part of their lives.
Watching them go through the same things I went through and sharing all those special moments like their first kiss, making the varsity sports teams, concerts, award ceremonies, prom and all the little things in between is what I look forward too in the upcoming years as I find my own way in this world. Having them to come home to now eases the fears of adulthood and creates a safe place.
Aside from all the bickering and childish antics, my sisters are my best friends and the light of my life. Never take for granted the relationship you could have with a sibling. As you grow your relationship can evolve and become something much more than a childhood playmate. Your little sister can be the one that you can confide in and possibly even look to for advice later on. Each of my sisters’ are very unique and their individuality shines so brightly. Although I am the “big sister” and am expected to be the role model, they influence me just as much as I try to guide them. As cliché’ as it sounds, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
