As a twin, I’ve been asked more times than I can count what it’s like to have a built in best friend. The truth is it’s something I took for granted until my sister and I were almost 300 miles apart. It’s hard for other people to understand how difficult it is to be away from someone who’s been such a consistent part of your day-to-day life.
For us, deciding to go to separate colleges was a no-brainer. It meant finding our own group of friends for the first time ever and learning to be independent of one another. I didn’t think it would be that difficult, or even noticeable, with all the new experiences I’d have and friendships I’d form. It took only a couple of hours on campus to realize how wrong I was.I was excited most by the idea of being known as an individual instead of as “the twins.” The constant comparison of us would finally end, and I would be known solely as another college freshman. Everyday though, it feels strange to meet people who will never know my sister. It seems like I find a way to mention her in every conversation I have as if my roommates know her, like she and I are having all these new experiences together.
Sharing so many hours of our days together was such a familiar part of my day-to-day life that having it taken away so abruptly is an adjustment. Living together meant knowing all the details of one another’s lives. It meant never having to clarify the names of friends in anecdotes or feeling awkward meeting new people because I always had her to fall back on. Now, being surrounded strangers who have never heard my stories, it’s hard not to think of her.
Even when I get a pang thinking about how I can’t just walk down the hall and tell her about my day, I remember all the good that’s come from our separation. There is no one who gets under my skin more and still I miss her every day. I’ve realized all the things I admire in her and all of her idiosyncrasies that make her so special. Her “Criminal Minds” addiction, extreme concern for the environment, complete lack of knowledge on the lives of celebrities and her tendency to smile at every, and I mean every person, she walks by are unique to her and I find myself looking for these qualities in all of the new people I meet.
This time apart has made us stronger than ever. Now that I can say with confidence that I am my own person, independent of my twin, and able to take on an entirely foreign environment, I realize that I am supremely lucky to have spent so much of my life with her by my side. It has shown me that being apart has strengthened the relationship we have when together and made it clear to both of us that, although we can handle being on our own, we would rather not give up on being partners in crime just yet.
