When the Autumn temperatures plummet down, the fall fashionistas come out to play...in theory. Being able to finally unleash the scarves, hats and sweaters right we’ve had stored away for months is super liberating.
But let’s not get it twisted. It takes a lot of effort to slay the way you’ve always dreamed when early a.m. classes, chilly McKeldin spots and rounds of the campus common cold start taking their toll. Here are six cold weather expectations and their bubble-bursting realities when it comes to campus style.
Expectations: Layers are the name of the game and you can’t wait to show off that plaid button down, shift dress, pair of knit tights, oversized cardigan, knee high boots and peabody coat all.at.the.very.same.time. Step aside, Blair Waldorf. You got this.
Reality: How is anyone supposed to know you even have a body under all of that fabric?! This outfit gives you uni-boob, your peacoat barely fits over all the other garments and when you finally head home, you have to take off so many articles of clothing that your outfit is basically “fashion inception” or something. So back to a basic long sleeve and jeans it is.
Expectations: A bomb fall outfit is never complete without a striking beat face to match. Deep mauves, vampy purples and sultry maroons are always in style this time of year, so you’re ready to bust out the liquid lipstick and give these streets a thing or two to talk about.
Reality: Gosh, your lips are dry. It’s like these lipsticks are sucking the life out of you. And how are you supposed to stress eat come midterms and pig out at Footnotes on any and all Doritos while keeping the lippie you spent 15 minutes perfecting intact at the same time? Nope, not worth it.
Expectations: New hair, new you. As long as some darker tresses and long layers are on your side, you are unstoppable stomping past Hornbake plaza, campus winds acting as the natural diva fan you’ve always wanted.
Reality: Too much wind, okay? TOO. MUCH. WIND! All that hard work gone to waste, and what’s the only thing you have to show for it, now? A tossed, tangled mess and a bunch of hair flying into your mouth.
Expectations: Of course, every day can’t be New York Fashion Week in this place. But on low-maintenance days, you’re still up for effortless, bedhead vibes. And you’ve never looked better donning a cute beanie, or messy top knot to class.
Reality: You have a really fat face, and you’ve never been more sure of that than you are right now. It looks great on everyone, but the minute you slick that hair back, you realize your head is shaped like an onion and all hope is lost. Guess you’re just going to have to make like Rapunzel and let down your hair.
Expectations: Tights, tights everywhere! Sheer tights, knit tights, striped tights. No matter the style, you can always capitalize on your closet by throwing them under your summer skirts, while giving any ensemble the luxury and sophistication it needs to complete your fall look.
Reality: Sophistication? Yeah right, tights make you feel like you’re five years old again, when Mommy forced to put on pantyhose, and then had the gall to tell you to smile about it. Sweatpants. Sweats and yoga pants, baby. And if you’re really feeling fancy, you can even break out the jeggings.
Expectations: While some trends never seem to go out of style, fall always brings about some newbie crazes that you can’t wait to try. Embroidered bomber jacket? Check. Velvet bodycon? Check. Corduroy overalls? Check! Mhmm, you’re a standout and a knockout amidst the crowd, and loving every minute of it.
Reality: You should have known that a poncho would only look right on like, three people: Gigi Hadid, Rihanna and Mrs. Darbus from High School Musical. Everything is wrong, and on top it all, you’re parents are going to kill you for blowing all that money on behalf of fashion.
Why we get so excited about putting it all on the table when Autumn comes around, know one knows for sure. After all, the trends seem to somehow fail us come fall season every time. Meanwhile, have the basics ever let us down? This year, try not to play yourself. Keep calm, carry on and keep it simple.
