Looking through the eyes of my father I see pain, I see stress, I see hurt. Most importantly, I see strength. 20+ years in the military, now retired, and serving his community as a Law Enforcement Officer.
My dad doesn't deserve the job he has. My dad deserves better. It is now a "fad" to hate ANYONE that protects and serves. Foolish, I tell you. My dad doesn't talk much about his job because he isn't really allowed to, but let me humor you. Let me tell you a little about my dad.
My dad never sleeps. You may hear him snoring but I can promise you, he's thinking or dreaming about work. Work is supposed to be separated from home. No. Not here. My dad comes home from a late shift. He goes to his room, he changes his clothes, he sits in "his chair", and watches the news. While you may think he's winding down, I can almost promise you he's thinking about the day he had. The child he had to save from a broken home, the woman's life he had to revive because her husband promised he'd "never do it again", the young boy he had to lecture about the difference between right and wrong because he wasn't taught any different, or the young girl he had to counsel about getting off the street because prostitution is no way of life.
Many of nights my sister and I would get woken up by our mom. When that happened, it was never good news. We would find our dad laid out on the couch (he NEVER lays on the couch unless he's sick which is hardly ever). His leg would be in a cast, his arm in a cast, or his face would be bruised. Many of nights, my mom, sister, & I have sat up waiting for our dad to get home just so we can hug him, touch his face, or hear his voice.
Every morning my dad puts on his boots, his gun and his badge with every ounce of pride in his being. He puts them on knowing he may not return home. He kisses his girls good bye and he's gone to war. I call it war because that's exactly what it is. Our community, most of it anyway, has become a war zone for our officers. They see one mistake an officer made and then all of them are "bad". I cannot explain to you the pain and agony that we feel knowing that the community our officers protect want them dead.
While we're out in public, say for instance a restaurant, you can guarantee it that my dad is sitting in a chair facing the door. Why does he sit facing the door? Imagine someone coming from behind you and spooking you. Nobody really likes that feeling. That is why he sits facing the door. He is prepared. He refuses to be unaware. He scopes out every person he can in any given place. Within thirty seconds of coming in contact with someone, he has plotted how to take them down. You never truly know someone or their intentions. I only know this because I have been taught to do the same.
On his off days, my sister and I would come home from school, he would teach us a new tactic. Whether it be how to break an arm, gauge the eyes, or to merely hurt to make someone stop. As we grew older, those tactics turned into gun lessons. We know how to shoot, take apart, put together, and clean guns. Even though my sister is a better shot than me, we'd know how to protect ourselves if the situation ever presented itself. My dad is always telling us to be aware of our surroundings. More often now, than ever. We are always "packing". Whether it be with mace, a flashlight "taser", a Brutus, etc. We are taken care of to say the least. I'm not saying all of this to brag. This is just what comes with being a "blue" family.
When my dad goes to work & he is in a hot situation (shootout, fight, etc.) the FIRST thought that runs across his mind, along with so many other officers is, "my family or theirs". There were many things my dad carried from the military to law enforcement, that mindset being one of them. "The people that put themselves in situations like this must not care too much about their family so I'm going home to mine" is the most simple way I can put it. It's harsh, but it's true. Put yourself in those exact shoes and tell me you wouldn't think the same.
If you know my dad, you also know that all of my friends are his kids, too. He has been more of a father to some of my friends than their own dad's have. He is also right about everyone that comes through his front door. He knows if they're good news or bad news. When I don't want to listen and want to learn for myself, he's never telling me "I told you so." He's there to listen to me vent, regardless of the day he's had. I'm not going to talk about dating because I'm sure you can only imagine how well that goes. I mention that my dad is a police officer & they're gone!
When my dad joined Law Enforcement, I don't think he ever imagined his children being so prideful of what he does. Little does he know, he is our hero. We take pride in who he is, how far he's come, and the places he will continue to go. He is the best at what he does (I'm a little bias). Living in the world we live in now, it is so easy to doubt. It is easy to worry. I am proud to say that every time there is an ounce of worry or he sees in our faces that we're worried. He tells us, "my boys have my back, I have theirs. I'm coming home tonight." 
I tell all of you this, not for pity. I tell you this as a daughter that loves her dad. I tell you this because I want more people to understand what most, if not all, officers go through on a daily basis. When you are approached by an antsy or "rude" officer, please understand that they may have just left an unforgettable call. He may have just got done putting a child in a body bag or telling a mom she lost her son due to gang violence. Be patient with our officers. You have no idea what they are dealing with. Be kind. Please understand that not all cops are the same. Appreciate them. They are doing more for you than you realize. If you can't stand behind them, feel free to stand in front of them. I know in my heart that if he had the chance do it again, he would, without hesitation. Daddy, we got your 6.
"We'll be here for you, after the storm blows through."
I don't have all the words to say to express this feeling. The feeling of losing one of your own. It's been a year since your life was taken from us. You will forever be a hero, never forgotten.
#1284, Thomas J. LaValley, EOW 8-5-15
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.." John 15:13
