Saying that I love shopping is an understatement. If you asked my mom, she would say it is more of an out-right addiction. In fact, I am the girl who throws a fair portion of her paycheck toward fuzzy socks and denim in all forms (hello 90’s revival). I have always tried justifying my love for shopping by limiting my clothing purchases to the sale section. Yet, the hunt of finding these steals comes at a cost.

Last Saturday, my eyes were fixed on my iPhone screen—as usual—as I was scrolling through different online shops. I found a pair of Hollister boyfriend jeans for $10.48 and placed the order without any hesitation. Once my debit card information had been entered, I began to question my intentions.

Do I need another pair of jeans? Why did I buy these, anyway? Did I only buy them because they were Hollister? Was I proud of getting them for 80% off the retail price? Will I even like the fit of boyfriend jeans on my body? The questions raced through my mind.

As of late, I am slowly coming to find that I have a disgusting fixation on brands. I crave the attention that comes with the question “where did you get that?” Whether it is the Hollister logo on my jean pockets, the Lululemon emblem on the left calf of my leggings or even the PINK waistband on my underwear, my heart actually gets warm seeing these fashions clothe my skin.

Then, I was reminded of a documentary on Netflix recommended by a professor. Once it began, I was hit. “The True Cost” is an American documentary that illuminates the relationship between “fast fashion” and the world it has taken over.

I was unaware that the clothing industry was the second worst industry in regards to its pollution. I was unaware of the extent of the brutal treatment of workers overseas. I was unaware that an hour and 32 minutes would rock my heart the way it did.

As a self-proclaimed lover of Jesus, I am also called to love creation. The earth God created was not designed so that it could be overrun with pesticides, contamination, and toxicity. The jeans I purchased are costing me $10.48, but are costing the Earth irreversible damage.

The social implications are just as horrifying. I cannot stand up and flaunt my love for God when the shoes I am wearing are putting human lives at risk. Instead, I am flaunting my privilege while a girl with the same dreams, skills and heart I do is breathing in toxic fumes, working in the poorest of working conditions and getting paid next to nothing for it.

From now on, I will take Colossians 3:12 literally and seriously. I will clothe myself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience by recognizing where my clothes come from. If that means spending a bit more for a t-shirt, then that is what I will do. I owe it to myself and those with whom I share this world to celebrate the art of fashion in a way that does not minimize human existence.