Stop Looking For Closure In Places It Doesn't Exist
Dating

Stop Looking For Closure In Places It Doesn’t Exist

We spend so much time exerting energy into people that don't care about us, it's time to stop that and start focusing on ourselves.

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Stop Looking For Closure In Places It Doesn’t Exist
Hayley Garron

I've spent a great deal over the last year thinking about the topic of closure, and how to become okay with letting go of a relationship that didn't have it. Something that I've learned throughout this process of changing my way of thinking and accepting is that not everybody is like me. Not everybody finds people, and I do mean platonic friendships or relationships as well as romantic ones, and wants to keep them in their lives forever. I have to learn how to accept that it is okay to let go.

By letting go, you provide more space in your life for new people, new experiences, new memories, and the most important thing of all, room for personal growth. I have spent so much time over the years holding onto things and putting a ton of time and effort into relationships that have no reciprocation, and I've learned that the end goal is always the same: I'm always the one that ends up hurt.

I'm a senior in college and I am about to exit college and enter a new chapter of my life. It sucks that with this change, I am already anticipating a drop in communication with people that I consider to be my friends right now. In a year from now when I'm out of college and some of them are still in college, or have moved to other places, I'm going to have to accept that some of those relationships will end- and most of the ones that will end won't have any closure.

I can think of one example in my life where a relationship mutually ended with closure, and that was the most okay I've ever been with letting someone walk out of my life. Since then, I've had many new relationships and friendships that have been somewhat short-lived, because that's just how college works, and not one of them have ended with closure. Let me just tell you, this process of learning how to move on from an intimate relationship without any explanation on the other person's part of it as to why it had to end just sucks.

However hurt I was by the ending of that relationship though, letting it go and learning to grow from it has been the most beneficial thing in my life. Over the last year, I've discovered so much about myself by just doing things alone, and I'm okay with that. I laugh with myself, cry with myself, write by myself, and have had the chance to change, grow, and understand more about who I am, what I want out of my life, and the types of people that I want to surround myself with in life.

I've learned that I shouldn't let my happiness rely so heavily on other people, and do so much for them to the point where I burn myself out. So if letting that unhealthy lifestyle go means not getting any closure after they leave, it's okay. I'm not completely okay with the fact that I won't always get closure yet, but I'm working on it, and I hope someday I can be good exiting relationships that don't provide any benefit for me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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