As someone who has been in a long distance relationship for the past two years, I can honestly say that long distance really sucks. I won't lie to you. It's hard. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. But while not being able to see or be with your favorite person every day is definitely less than ideal, it is completely worth the work if they're the right person for you. Over the course of the past two years, my boyfriend and I have found a few ways to make the distance between us seem shorter and the days until we see each other again go by a lot faster. Here's a few ways to bridge the distance as tried and approved by a well-seasoned long distance couple:
1. Communicate with each other in some way every single day.
Whether it's via text, Skype, phone call, what have you, take a little time out of every day to talk to each other. For example, my boyfriend and I call each other every single night before we go to bed. We tell each other about the day that we've had, talk about school, work, friends, and politics. Heck, sometimes we even just sit on the phone together and do our homework. Communication is the most important part of a long distance relationship. While we do text or Facebook each other throughout the course of our days, our nightly phone calls give us a chance to completely catch up with each other, and honestly, it's just nice to hear their voice and know that they're on the other end. It's also a great way to wind down after a busy day. After all, what's better than having your loved one's voice be the last thing you hear before you go to sleep?
2.) Make plans.
Set dates for the next time you can see each other, make plans for what you will do the next time you're together, or even plan a trip. We like to set aside at least one weekend a month to visit each other and spend time together. We also are both huge travel-lovers, so we frequently plan future trips for us to take together. Just having a date set or a plan in place makes the distance seem a little shorter, the days go by faster, and it gives you both something to look forward to.
3. Surprise each other.
Surprising each other is a great way to keep excitement and spontaneity in any relationship, but especially in one where you spend more days apart then together. Send them a care package full of their favorite things, mail them something that made you think of them, surprise them with flowers or their favorite treat when you visit each other. Whenever I go visit my boyfriend I like to bring him a little something, whether it be a package of his favorite shortbread cookies, a book I know he's been dying to read, a pamphlet I found on traveling the world, or a dozen roses just because. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or expensive. One of our favorite things to surprise each other with is handwritten letters. It's a great way to add dimension to the communication in our relationship, they're great keepsakes, and who doesn't love to get mail that isn't bills?
4. Have something that's just for the two of you.
This could be anything the two of you enjoy doing together. Watching a movie, playing a video game, reading a book. My boyfriend and I like to pick TV shows to watch together. We're only allowed to watch them with each other, and we text each other about it the whole time we're watching. We're currently thinking about having a book club for just the two of us, reading the same books and discussing our opinions of it together. One thing we do every day is journal together. My boyfriend bought us matching leather ten-year journals for Christmas this past year, and we take the time to write in them together every single night. We've also decided to write in each other's journal once every year. These journals are great. They have a little section a few lines long for every single day for the next ten years. The small section allotted makes it easy to just jot down a few lines every day, and it's a wonderful way to record the aspects of your individual lives and your life together.
5. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Through thick and thin, good and bad, it's important to remind yourself and each other the distance won't last forever. Talk about what you want as far as long term goals for your relationship. If your relationship is in the "serious" phase, talk about things like where the two of you would eventually want to live together, if and when you would want to get married, have kids, etc. My boyfriend and I like to talk about what kind of dog we would want to get, where we might get married, what our dream house would look like, all the places we want to travel to together, etc. Focusing on a future together not only gives you a sense of security in a relationship, but gives you a goal to work towards together that makes every day, week, and month spent apart worth every second when you finally get to be together.
Being in a long distance relationship is far from ideal. Even with the little things that make the distance seem shorter and the days go by faster. Long distance is no walk in the park. But honestly, if you want it to work out, it will work out. You both have to be willing and committed to putting in the effort to make the relationship successful. It's a lot of hard work, but it will absolutely, completely be worth it in the end. I know it will be for me.
