I love Gossip Girl as much as the next person. There is nothing better after a long day than curling up in bed and submerging myself in everything that the Upper East Side and all of it's drama is. Over the course of the seasons I fell in love with the characters, particularly Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. When I first watched the show I idealized the two of them. They were my relationship "goals" and I wanted everything that they had. However, as I went back and watched the show again some time later, after I had had a few years of experience with relationships, I realized that they are most definitely NOT my relationship goals. And they should not be anybody's.

According to Healthy Place, emotional abuse is defined as "any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth." Well, Gossip Girl, and Chuck and Blair's relationship is full of emotional abuse. Their relationship on the outside may seem like something out of a fairytale, full of expensive clothes and Chuck showering Blair in jewelry and flowers. But Chuck Bass is no knight in shining armor, and Blair Waldorf is no mistress in distress.

From the very beginning their relationship has been unconventional. Blair cheated on her boyfriend by having sex with Chuck in the back of a limo, and then lied about it for quite some time. When Chuck and Blair first started dating, she forgave him for something simply because he traveled to Europe and bought her a few things. They started dating during the summer, and their relationship consisted of a game where Chuck would seduce women and get them in private and tease them, before Blair would show up and scold the particular female for messing with a person in a relationship. During the entire course of their relationship, both on and off, Chuck consistently treated Blair like an object and threw her around. How could anyone forget when he traded her for a hotel? He ditched her for other women even when he knew how he felt about her, and the two of them threw around the words "I love you" and used them as bait. Both of them played games, lied to each other, went behind their backs to do things, and teased each other about their feelings.

Behind all of the cute dates and supporting each other no matter what, Chuck and Blair's relationship is not something that should be looked up to. They may have gotten their happily every after in the very end and gotten married, but the first five seasons of Gossip Girl proved to us that the odds were against them from the beginning and if they had enough common sense, they never would have forgiven each other for some of the things that they did. Their relationship teaches us that it's okay to lie to our significant other and give up easily. They put feelings and games before what is right, and used sex as something to hurt each other, as well as other people. They got into relationships before they were over the other and were so inconsistent with their relationship's ups and downs. They showed us that all can be forgiven with an expensive necklace and a few words.

Their relationship contributes a great deal to Gossip Girl and the show would not have been what it is without Chuck and Blair, but they should not be your goals in life. What their relationship SHOULD teach us, is to always know your self worth and never settle for less than what you deserve. Think carefully before getting into relationships, and never use a show as a basis for what your relationship should look like.

XOXO!