Chuck And Blair, Blair And Chuck

Chuck And Blair, Blair And Chuck

Why our favorite Gossip Girl couple should not be our relationship goals.
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I love Gossip Girl as much as the next person. There is nothing better after a long day than curling up in bed and submerging myself in everything that the Upper East Side and all of it's drama is. Over the course of the seasons I fell in love with the characters, particularly Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. When I first watched the show I idealized the two of them. They were my relationship "goals" and I wanted everything that they had. However, as I went back and watched the show again some time later, after I had had a few years of experience with relationships, I realized that they are most definitely NOT my relationship goals. And they should not be anybody's.

According to Healthy Place, emotional abuse is defined as "any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth." Well, Gossip Girl, and Chuck and Blair's relationship is full of emotional abuse. Their relationship on the outside may seem like something out of a fairytale, full of expensive clothes and Chuck showering Blair in jewelry and flowers. But Chuck Bass is no knight in shining armor, and Blair Waldorf is no mistress in distress.

From the very beginning their relationship has been unconventional. Blair cheated on her boyfriend by having sex with Chuck in the back of a limo, and then lied about it for quite some time. When Chuck and Blair first started dating, she forgave him for something simply because he traveled to Europe and bought her a few things. They started dating during the summer, and their relationship consisted of a game where Chuck would seduce women and get them in private and tease them, before Blair would show up and scold the particular female for messing with a person in a relationship. During the entire course of their relationship, both on and off, Chuck consistently treated Blair like an object and threw her around. How could anyone forget when he traded her for a hotel? He ditched her for other women even when he knew how he felt about her, and the two of them threw around the words "I love you" and used them as bait. Both of them played games, lied to each other, went behind their backs to do things, and teased each other about their feelings.

Behind all of the cute dates and supporting each other no matter what, Chuck and Blair's relationship is not something that should be looked up to. They may have gotten their happily every after in the very end and gotten married, but the first five seasons of Gossip Girl proved to us that the odds were against them from the beginning and if they had enough common sense, they never would have forgiven each other for some of the things that they did. Their relationship teaches us that it's okay to lie to our significant other and give up easily. They put feelings and games before what is right, and used sex as something to hurt each other, as well as other people. They got into relationships before they were over the other and were so inconsistent with their relationship's ups and downs. They showed us that all can be forgiven with an expensive necklace and a few words.

Their relationship contributes a great deal to Gossip Girl and the show would not have been what it is without Chuck and Blair, but they should not be your goals in life. What their relationship SHOULD teach us, is to always know your self worth and never settle for less than what you deserve. Think carefully before getting into relationships, and never use a show as a basis for what your relationship should look like.

XOXO!

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.

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Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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