When you tell someone you live with chronic migraines, they either laugh, tell you to drink some water, or to take some Advil or Excedrin. Some even say, "I know how it feels, it will pass."
My response is always to sarcastically nod in agreement or roll my eyes, because they definitely do not know how it feels.
When you live with migraines, it is not that simple.
When you wake up in the morning with a massive pounding in your head, it's almost like your head is going to burst if you even get up out of bed. Sometimes, when they are really bad your vision will start to go black. Heck, I pray every time that happens that I do not fall over or pass out.
The light that is creeping in from your blinds feels like someone shining a flashlight in your face and the slight noises from your neighbors sound like banging against your skull. All you want to do is bang in response, but not only would it make it worse but it also is not even actual banging.
Days when your migraines are not that bad, you trudge through the day. Barely making it through classes, conversations, or even getting out of bed.
On the bad days, you try so hard to make it through the day, but if you are me then there is no part of you that can physically make it to work or school.
Call in sick, stating that you are just not able to do your duties today, and both your teachers and bosses sigh. Most of the time, they think you are making it all up. A lot of people just assume you are just lazy, you don't want to get out of bed, or you just did not sleep well. If you suffer from chronic migraines, then you know that is not the truth.
Advil does not help. Aleve gives rebound headaches. Excedrin is only good for the caffeine and nothing else. You go to your neurologist, because you just cannot take it anymore. They give you med after med, and if you are one of the unlucky ones, it takes years to find one that works.
Even if you do find one that works, there are million and one side effects that are almost as bad as the migraines itself. Body numbness, shakiness, blurry vision, loss of weight, just to name a few.
Even if you want to consider doing a trial treatment like Botox injections or something else, you will more than likely never be able to get in. You try home remedies like lavender oil, Vicks vapor bath soap for babies, and even a daith piercing.
I want to get better, but I cannot.
So, every time you scoff at my migraines or my inability to get out of bed because you cannot understand my pain, take a moment to think about it.
Migraines are not a typical headache or even a hangover. You think that hangover you had after a full night of drinking compares to this? You are wrong. It is worse. Much worse.
It is hell. Living with migraines is hell.
