I feel like everywhere I look, there's a relationship that's gone wrong. Someone cheated, someone got mad, someone got in a fight, someone just didn't "love" the other anymore, someone just didn't want any commitments, someone didn't get what they wanted or got more than they wanted.
There is so much hurt in the world and so many aching hearts when it comes to boyfriends and girlfriends, or even husbands and wives.
As much as I would like to offer this just to the girls, because I am a girl - I know it goes both ways, which is why this article is aimed at both girls and boys.
But that's just the thing. Let's start there. We are no longer girls and boys, but rather women and men. It's about time that we act like it.
Every woman and every man longs for that relationship that they feel was "destined" for them. The relationship that's perfect, amazing, filled with lovely moments. Everyone desires a relationship they can be proud of.
Wait a second, hold on... that doesn't make sense! What relationship is perfect or can be perfect? We are all sinners and nothing about us or our relationships can ever be perfect. We all know that, so why do we constantly seek relationships with people who we know deep down can never fulfill that desire? Why do we seek relationships that will leave us disappointed?
Because we have not first found the relationship with the one person that will never ever let us down, forsake us, or forget us.
Our relationship with Christ is meant to be uplifting, edifying, and it was meant to be our first relationship. Our love for God, and his love for us, is a bond that can never be broken. Which is why we should strive to model our relationships after our own relationship with Christ.
These 11 things are some lessons that I have learned in my own relationship - and I am here to share them with all of you.
1. He/she must love the Lord above everything and anyone - even you.
If he/she loves Christ first, then his/her intentions and thoughts towards you (especially while dating) will always be Christ honoring.
2. He should treat you with respect. She should treat you with respect.
It's a two-way street.
3. Guys, you should be a gentleman and open doors for her and pull out chairs for her. Gals, you should let him.
Don't say no, because when you say no, you're basically telling him that he can't treat you like a gentleman should.
4. Keep your eyes on each other and not other people.
Be faithful and true.
5. Be honest with each other.
If you are not sure that you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, then there is no need to keep dating someone else's future spouse.
6. Spend time in the word with each other.
Pray together and apart from each other, but always pray for each other. The most important thing in a relationship is to know that the other person supports you and trusts you - this is one way to exemplify that.
7. Do not lose focus.
This relationship that you both are in, is meant to be pure and Christ-centered until the day you get married even after you get married. Do not let the world tell you otherwise. Always draw a line within your relationship (physically), and NEVER NEVER NEVER cross it. Sex is not love. Sex is not needed to feel loved.
8. ALWAYS think twice before getting defensive in an argument.
Every one fights - but the important thing to remember is to not get defensive. When you get defensive, the argument gets a million times worse. Think twice, and really dig deep to find out what the true heart of the issue is. Sometimes it's easy to fight about your S.O. being late, when the true heart of the issue is the feeling of you S.O. trying to avoid you.
9. Honor each other, if even the other is not around.
Having issues and talking it out with your best bud for the good of fixing an issue is one thing. Blabbing on about this and that to your best friend(s) is not okay. If you are having that many issues with your S.O. then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.
10. Find out what your love language is, and what your S.O.'s love language is.
This can help solve future issues and complications. If you go through this relationship not knowing their love language, then you can run into a million different problems. But if you do, then it helps you discover exactly what some issues are really about. Love languages are not just one way, it's two way. You have a love language you prefer to give in and one you prefer to receive in. It is all very important.
11a. Guys, watch how she treats her daddy - watch how he treats her.
This is a key into what she may be expecting out of you. She usually will not settle for less than how her daddy loves her. If he opens her doors and carries her bags for her - then she will probably expect you to do the same thing.
11b. Gals, watch how he treats his mom - watch how she treats him.
If he loves his mom and cares for her just the way his dad does, then you know he's gonna treat you with respect.
Everyone wants to be in a relationship that they feel like they belong in, with someone that they feel belongs with them. The best way to do this is to first seek Christ. If Christ is your first love, then nothing can ever compare to that. If Christ is your first love, then your perspective changes.
Before Christ, you sought approval in other relationships, you wanted your S.O. to be your entire world, you wanted them to "complete" you. After Christ, you realized that only HE can complete you, only HE can be your entire world, and only through HIM do you find your identity as a person. After you realize these things, it is a whole lot easier to find a man/woman that will live up to your Heavenly Father's standards and treat you right.
When you and your S.O. are focused on what really matters, then the relationship will also be focused on what really matters.
Ladies, be honest, be uplifting and supportive, and let him be a gentleman.
Men, be respectful, think twice, be encouraging, and always treat her like a lady.
