When starting my senior year of high school, I had no idea what I was going to do once I had that diploma in my hand. Most people had either a job or a plan to attend college somewhere, and I had not made that decision for myself. The end of my senior year came, and I still had no job, and I never had that desire to attend college. The idea of college was never pushed on me by my family or others, and I never took the responsibility upon myself to look into schools and gain interest. It was a huge mistake to not do such a thing, and if I could go back in time to do that all again, I most likely would. I turned into someone that claimed they were going to take the year away from school and then apply to college to further my education. Well, that year passed by, and I had not filled out a single application. I was also never able to find a job. Sure, I had interviews, but problems with social anxiety contributed to me not being able to do so well in those interviews. I have to admit that I was feeling very lost and did not know if I was ever going to find direction for my life. But after a couple more years and more failed job interviews, I knew I had to do something.
The decision itself of choosing to go to school left me with a refreshed feeling, and for the first time in a long time, I was going to have a feeling of accomplishment. Feeling successful was something that I had not endured in a long time because my life literally consisted of nothing but eating, listening to music, and playing video games. I also knew that if I kept my grades up in the state of Georgia, I could apply for the Hope scholarship and make college a lot easier to afford for myself. Sure, I felt great about applying to school and finally making a move in life, but that move was not going to come without fears. I feared that since I had been out of school for such a long time and not doing anything that my performance in classes would be below average for me. I thought about how bad I was at math in high school and how much worse it was going to be in college. Little things like that made me want to lower my hopes, but I knew that this was something that had to be done. Without going to college, I would currently be sitting in my room, playing Madden, and eating a bag of Doritos as I talked to someone on Google Hangouts. That is really what I did for a majority of the time.
While gaining all of those responsibilities, I have learned a lot from my classes as well. I just recently was able to get out of my remedial math class in only two semesters, and that was something I did not see myself doing so quickly. Math has always been something I struggled with, and I was so proud when I was able to test and get out of the class much quicker than most students do. It showed me that if I put enough effort into something, I can take the time to learn just about anything that I want to learn. Through my first two semesters, I have been able to attain a 4.0 GPA, and I am now applied for the Hope scholarship. Again, this has left me with a feeling of accomplishment, and that was always the goal when deciding to attend school. Now that I showed myself that I can handle school fairly well, I am applying for jobs and hoping that I can attain one of those as well. Knowing that my life has direction has given me a confidence that I never had before, and I am now not so ashamed to answer the question that every young adult is asked: “What do you plan to do with your life?”
