Why I Chose My Boyfriend Over My "Best Friend" | The Odyssey Online
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Why I Chose My Boyfriend Over My "Best Friend"

They say you should fall in love with your best friend, so why are we shaming girls who do that?

Karma J. Alvey
Oct 31, 2016
Southeast Missouri State University
383
Why I Chose My Boyfriend Over My "Best Friend"

A while back, this article, a goodbye to the best friend who chose her boyfriend, gained a lot of popularity.

While this is a totally valid feeling, and I am so empathetic for the author, I just can't stop thinking about how many times I've seen this post shared in a way it isn't meant to be. Let me break it down for you:

I've been with my boyfriend for over five years. We were together through my four years of high school, all of our college education, several very rough steps of my life, and we've never done the "break-up, get back together" type of thing. On the other hand, I have one friend who has stuck by me so long, and we don't see each other very often, and that's okay, because we're both busy adults and understand that you don't have to constantly be with someone to be friends. Over the course of those five years, I've had "best friends" come and go, not hanging around for the hard stuff, or not even really caring, while my boyfriend has been there for every tear, every accomplishment, and every in-between.

I'm not saying every boyfriend is like mine, or every best friend is like mine have been. I'm sure there are plenty of crappy guys who get chosen over great best friends, and that is tragic. But, don't tell me that it's wrong for me to choose my boyfriend over my "best friend" when he's done so much more for me than they did or would ever be willing to do. It's not a comparable situation.

My boyfriend didn't leave me alone on my 18th birthday. If we get in a fight around Christmas, we don't quit talking to avoid buying gifts; we make it right, and we still give each other presents. If we disagree on something, we can discuss it, instead of humiliating one another on social media for our beliefs. My boyfriend doesn't berate me and make me feel insecure or ashamed of my beliefs. Real best friends wouldn't do that stuff, and yet, mine did. So no, I will not choose someone who belittles me, constantly tells me I'm wrong or less, and doesn't really care about me over someone who has been there time after time, someone who lifts me up, someone who knows exactly how to make me feel better and accepts me for who I am and doesn't try to change me into something I'm not. My boyfriend has been a better best friend to me than any girl has ever been.

They say you should fall in love with your best friend, so why are we shaming girls who do that?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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