The last year has put me on an emotional roller coaster. Trying to figure out who I am without a significant other has made me question if I want to be in relationships or if I should stay single for a while. I let go of the reins and chose myself for the first time in a long time.

I've allowed myself to meet a lot of new people and figure out who I want to be as a person. I went out on dates with guys I knew I would never date and kissed enough frogs for a lifetime. Being alone made me realize that there was more to me than the guys I dated.

I realized that I let my boyfriends define who I was.

Once I realized that I needed to redefine who I am, I began doing that. I did a lot of soul searching and decided that I just want to be happy and healthy. I want people to see me and know that they can count on a smile on my face. Being happy alone is something that I needed to be so others could see that there is joy in being alone in a non-depressing way. I have to be an advocate for happiness and joy.

With all the bad things that have happened to me, I know that I have to let them shape me without making me a completely different. I can't be a ghost of the girl I was before depression and sexual assault. I want to be as happy as I was in sixth grade with the maturity I have as a fourth year college student.

Choosing myself and becoming the happiest person is a journey that I'm always going to be living, but it makes me who I am.

I am no longer the ghost of the girl I used to be.

I am no longer a girl.

I am a woman and I am stronger than the tribulations life put me through.

I might be alone, but I have friends and family that love me more than a man ever will. I have my faith to fall back on when things get harder than I think I can handle.

My life has been a movie but it's my movie and it's my story.

I choose me, every day, for the remainder of my time here.