Sometimes when I fall asleep at night, I envision the year 2050. I still look really good. My grandchildren sit on hover-swivel chairs and eagerly interview me about The Golden Age of Memes. I would be amiss to waste my time in the lush memescape of today's culture; rather I have opted to research Fine Memery and share the results of my studies with the general public. Today, I hope to endow the typical memer with the most basic wisdoms of the trade.
1. Retire to the Meme Cave. Polish up the old Meme-Mobile. Wax on, wax off. It's only from a near-meditative state that you can achieve greatness and become the memer that your city needs AND deserves.
2. Identify your audience. Your Meme-Maw (a hip, fashion-conscious grandma with a pee timer app) may understand the difference between a Pepe and the "that's none of my business" Kermit, but Aunt Hilde on your dad's side could be so clueless that a classic Cher reference sails over her head.
3. Go spelunking for rare Pepes. Pepes are appropriate in almost any situation, but not just any Pepe will do. If you see a Pepe that resembles your audience, jump on the chance to belittle your audience by comparing it to a reptile that is 50% comprised of lips.
4. If the Pepes fall short, search the "memes" tag on Tumblr for inspiration. You may see something scarring from the dark side. But as we all know, Shrek wouldn't be such a popular meme today if not for Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life. At this stage, you may be tempted to plagiarize a fine example of Memery. DO NOT SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION. Continue directly to step 5.
5. Hit the whip. Do the Bernie. Revisit Gangnam Style. The endorphins that flow from popular culture are violently powerful; you may find yourself filled with strange desires, but these urges have nothing to do with plagiarism and will lead you to the memes of your dreams.
6. Determine whether a Bi-Meme, Tri-Meme, or Super-Meme fits the bill. An example of a Bi-Meme: a vintage Nyan Cat video mixed with the audio from the "What are thooooose" Vine. Some Bi-Memes, Tri-Memes, and Super-Memes offend Meme Purists, but that sort of people only frequent the dustier computer labs at your small, liberal arts college; you can probably avoid them. A Bi-Meme, Tri-Meme, or Super-Meme enables you to get extremely original with your Memery, but it can also be considered a cop-out, similar to utilizing "being" verbs in an essay or inserting the word "utilizing" to make it seem as though you haven't said "using" six times since the thesis. Take caution.
7. GET OVER YOURSELF AND CHOOSE A FREAKING MEME. This isn't rocket science. This is comedy for the common Internet user. How pretentious can you be?? Such wow. Seriously. Tbh, you know what really grinds my gears? You. Yaaaaaas. You.
