Most of my life has been spent trying to conceal myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less bothersome. Less opinionated. Less needy. I instead focused on those around me. If they were happy. I catered my life to helping others live theirs. Why? I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much that I began to push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for a while, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy.

I didn't realize what I was doing. I had become so accustomed to living this way it felt normal, but it wasn’t. I was suffering. I was not okay. I didn’t care until I had to. Until I had to put myself first. College changed me. It has made me realize the extent of my suffering. College has opened the doors for myself to channel who I am. I have realized that it’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. I am good enough. And I am happy, in fact I am really happy. Not because other people validate these things, but because I recognize them. I recognize the fact that exist and matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. Maybe not to everyone but that’s okay. The best lives are lived and created from the inside out. Find the things that make you happy. Take a lot of naps, do things for yourself and allow your heart to grow.

Naturally you are going to choose people that will not choose you and that is okay. What is not okay, is when someone does not choose you and you continue to put all of your energy into them when that energy should be put into people, places, and ideas that make you a better person. Read your favorite book three times, binge watch your favorite Netflix series from the beginning even when you have already finished it four times, take a long drive, go on an adventure, start doing things you enjoy. Stick with the people who love you and do not spend a single second on those who could care less. Life will be better this way. Stop saying yes to things you do not want to do. Surround yourself with people who accept you for you, who are winners and want you to win. Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious to this world and you get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept. So let them know your worth and show them your power.

I don’t need anyone’s permission or approval of how to live my life. I am perfectly capable of who I am. I can speak my truth, not the truth. It may trigger people, make them angry. It may even make them uncomfortable. But who cares? I spent so many years trying to avoid this. Only to realize it has and will not get me anywhere in life. So if they choose to leave, fine. If they don’t like me, who cares. I refuse to limit myself. I have made it my mission to soar. To channel happiness and to embrace the essence of self. I choose to honor who I am. I choose to not let society get the best of me. But most importantly, I choose me.