When you hear the word chivalry, what do you think? If you, like me, think "knight in shining armor trying to win the heart of his beloved," this is because the code of "chivalry" was first established by medieval knights as a way to regulate how they were to act in regards to society and their own morality. However, as times began to change, so did this word. Throughout the years, it has grown and evolved into something that can be adapted to behaviors in our modern world. Today, rather than being a strict code of conduct, "chivalry" is mainly used to describe the way men are expected to behave around women. This might include opening doors, giving up seats on a crowded bus, etc.

While all of this might seem harmless enough, the motivations behind it have come into question within the past few years, due to the Third Wave of feminism. Now, before I get into how feminism and chivalry interact, I think it's necessary to first establish what feminism means conceptually, as this is often misinterpreted. At its core, feminism is the idea that women and men should be equal in all regards: politically, socially, and economically. It recognizes that there is an imbalance in our society that should be rectified by empowering women.

As you might imagine, the idea of chivalry has become rather divisive among certain groups. However, I hope to be able to dispel a few myths and shed some light on how feminists such as myself truly view this practice.

As with many actions, the real problem most feminists have with chivalry lies in the motive, not in the action itself. Think about this for a moment: if you saw someone walking behind you as you entered a building, would you hold the door for them? If so, why? Is it because of their gender, or because you think that this action might save them a bit of effort? When we're in the midst of a situation such as this, we don't usually think through these things before making a decision. Generally, most people will hold the door, regardless. This action can be described as "equality," as everyone has been treated equally under the same scenario.

So when does equality turn into chivalry? The answer, simply put, is when the motive changes. If a man who is not accustomed to holding the door for anyone notices that a young woman is walking behind him, he might go out of his way to hold the door for her, not because of her humanity, but because of her womanhood. If this man would only do something like this for a woman, he might consider himself chivalrous. However, with the concept of chivalry, there is often the assumption that by helping a woman, a man might receive some special attention in return.

One common misconception about chivalry is that it only hurts those who are sensitive to it. This is simply not true. While going out of your way to treat a woman differently than a man might make some women uneasy, it has an effect on men as well. In a world of only chivalry, the same man who had opened the door for a woman would never have the door opened for himself. By stating that we should favor equality over chivalry, feminists are not saying that no one should treat each other with kindness. Rather, they believe that we should all treat each other kindly, regardless of gender. Men should hold doors for other men, women should give up their seats to other women in need, etc.

The feminist condemnation of chivalry as a practice does not condemn all actions associated with it. Keep in mind that the motives are what should actually be addressed. We should all go out of our way to help others based on their dignity as human beings, rather than any preconceived notions about how one gender should relate to another. We shouldn't help someone just because we feel that we might get something in return. Everyone is deserving of kindness, as gestures should have no terms and conditions.