1. Reverence
When I was a little kid, I adored my parents. They were titans. Always right in any situation, always ready to help me if I needed it, and always living life the way someone should. I tried to emulate them in every way I could, because their life seemed so perfect. Any problem I was having could be resolved by talking to my mom or dad. For computer problems and homework I went to my dad; for social things or last last last minute issues I went to my mom. Of course my problems were mostly my brother bullying me in some way or a field trip form I forgot to get signed until the day after the deadline. This was life in early childhood and it was good. Emotions were raw and unfiltered, happiness was not tempered by responsibility and sadness was not held in check. I threw a lot of tantrums and cried often during this time, but those feelings were pure and did not embarrass me or make me feel long-term guilt like they might if I had them now.
2. Resentment
This phase took place for me around the ages of 13-16. I noticed the flaws in my parents, and because I had to always be around them, they compounded in my head until they were all I noticed. It's not that I stopped loving my parents, but I just kept seeing what was wrong rather than what was right. This made it difficult for me to want to do things with my parents, so most of the time I would just go to my room and play video games so I wouldn't have to deal with it. As I met other parents and other people, I thought that they were so much better than my family. This of course was because I hadn't spent enough time with them to see their flaws, but in my mind, I had gotten a raw deal.
3. Reality
Once I did finally begin to understand other people I saw my parents in a different light. I looked at them as people just living their lives, and I was a part of that. I looked at them objectively and compared them to everyone else I have met and I realized that they are good people. Of course they are flawed and of course they are struggling with life as much as anyone else is, but they are good people, and I would like to think that even if I wasn't their son, I would still see them as people that I want in my world. People that try their best to do good and to make the world a better place. I don't think my perspective and view of them now is final, and I'm sure if I ever start a family and become a parent, I will see just how much work they put into raising me.
Often I hear friends talk about what their parents did wrong and how if they have kids, at least they know what not to do. I am thankful that it is the opposite for me. If I ever raise a child, I will know exactly the childhood I would want to emulate for my kid.
