Bullying, especially cyberbullying, is an epidemic. Today it is harder than ever to unplug and "turn off" criticisms, negative comments, and all-out hate from our peers (and even strangers). The internet has given us a sense of anonymity. We can say whatever we want behind our illuminated screens without consequence, often without thinking of the people on the other end of our comments.
We can all sometimes be guilty of it. I am myself guilty of getting involved in heated arguments over social media over politics, etc. When I catch myself thinking things like, "This guy is SUCH a moron!" I close my app and try to recenter myself before I resort to name calling.
As an adult, it is much easier to use these types of coping skills than it is for younger generations of teenagers or kids. We all know what cyberbullying is. If you aren't sure, just spend twenty minutes on Twitter. We have become a culture of name-calling, and always being plugged in.
Death by suicide is less common in children and teenagers than it is in adults, but those numbers have been steadily climbing since the 1990s (according to the CDC). As a student, teacher, mentor, or parent what can we do in order to prevent this loss of life from happening? Unfortunately, sometimes parents don't know that their child is being bullied or is depressed until it is too late.
If you're a student:
If you are an onlooker in a bullying situation, you can try to stand up for the person being bullied. Try to turn the situation around with humor, if you can.
Bully-Bob: Hey, nice shirt, dork!
Sad-Steve: ....well-
Brave-Jill: Yeah, haha! yeah, and Bob looks like he got dressed in the dark, right, Steve?
Write a note to a teacher or guidance counselor anonymously letting them know about the situation. If someone is being bullied, they will often feel alone or depressed. You could sit with this person at lunch, study with them, or just invite them to hang out. Feeling included will make them feel much less alone.
It sounds cliche, but put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if everyone was laughing at or calling you names? Being the butt of the joke is okay once in a while, but always being the joke is when our emotions and self-esteem starts to get worn down.
If you're a parent:
Sit your child down and have a talk with them. Let them know if they ever need to talk to you, they can. Kids at such a young age can't fully understand the consequences of suicide.
At 13 years old, their life has not really even begun yet. Encourage them to join a group activity (outside of school is best), start a new hobby together, or take a day trip over the weekend to get out of town. Encourage your child to turn off their cell phone and stay off the computer at night. Being unplugged can be a great way to combat against all the negativity. Being worn down by bullying all day at school and then all night over social media gives kids no reprise.
The more they are plugged into social media, the more they are susceptible to the bullying, and the less time they are hearing how much and how many people care about and love them.
Think about your own actions and behaviors. How do you talk to your spouse or your own children? How do your children treat each other? The behavior behind bullying starts in the home. Some bullies might pick on others to make them feel better about themselves. Do you tell your children you are proud of them, or do you only criticize? Even a small thank you, "Thanks for helping me do the dishes, thanks for the taking out the trash. You are so helpful" can go a long way.
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND/OR TENDENCIES, REACH OUT IMMEDIATELY. NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS ALONE. SUICIDE IS SERIOUS.
National Suicide Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255 - available 24/7
