In my small hometown, divorce is not something that is common. Growing up, I was one of the handful of kids of my class to live in a split family. It was hard, way harder than most people can understand, but, it wasn't a set-back. It wasn't a label that was put on me like I was "damaged goods." If anything, it was a blessing and I don't believe I would be where I am or who I am, if my parents had stayed together.

I was at a very young age when my parents separated, too young to even pronounce the word "divorce." Growing up, I would just say, "my mom and dad live in different houses," when kids asked why I would go to just "my dad's" after school. Of course, they thought it was cool; two Christmas's, two birthday's, I had the life. One day everything was different, and I didn't know what it meant or why it happened; I still never got a definite reason and it's been 17 years.

Usually when parents split, the children live with one parent practically full-time and go spend the weekend or something with the other. My situation was different. I lived half and half with my parents, shuffling back and forth between homes every few days. Monday and Tuesday nights = dad's, Wednesday and Thursday nights = mom's, and every other Friday-Sunday switched. And I still went to the same school, just having to get up an hour earlier at my mom's so she could drive us to my dad's on time to make the school bus. Dragging duffle bags of clothes to and from school or anything I could possibly need that weekend was stuffed into my backpack. It took a toll. I can remember being called into the principal's office because I would fall asleep in class and have bags under my eyes in 5th grade from not getting enough sleep, or going to the school counselor's office to talk about something I didn't even understand. They wanted me to talk about how I felt about it, but I didn't even know how to feel. Should I be mad? Sad? What do they want from me?

As I got older, it did get easier to move back and forth; you adjust, that's life. But the label just grew along with me. People who would meet me would ask about my parents and once I revealed they weren't together, I got the classic "Oh I'm sorry." It didn't hurt and I would smile and reply that it was alright and they had been since I was little, but for some reason, it always felt like it changed their idea of me. Just because I came from a split family, it automatically meant I had some "baggage" or something hovering over me that apparently family's who together didn't have. There's the classic story of the kid coming from a broken family to either be something great or something worse, and I would like to say I became great.

My parents never made us feel like we weren't worthy of love, to be cared for, or important. They spent every chance they could to be there for us, either together or just one. Every game they did their best to be there, always cheering, and sometimes they were the obnoxious parent (talking about you, mom). They supported me in every way and when I didn't excel, they pushed me further. They never let me settle or give up, and looking back now I wish I hadn't gotten angry when I got feedback from a poor game or test, because they only wanted to see me be great. And that's what I became.

I would not be the person I am today if my parents had stayed together, and that's a fact. I've never questioned them about their decisions, because that's just it. It was their choices for whatever reasons that it couldn't work, and I don't need them to justify it. But, I do know that they wouldn't have been happy, and that would have tremendously affected my brother and I. Growing up in a family that fights and resents one another is far worse than having two households who love and support you. Growing up in that atmosphere would have ruined us, and I know because I have seen it happen to others. They did their absolute best to give us the world, and certainly succeded. They also had help from two amazing step parents that loved and supported us just as much. I never felt like my family was broken, but that I was lucky enough to have two strong ones.

Being a child of divorce is part of my identity, not a negative label. No one should feel "sorry" that that was my childhood, because it had such a positive impact on me. It strengthed me and pushed me to be best at everything I can, and to never stop trying. Some people grow up in a whole household, and some of us don't, but it doesn't make us different, or prone to any bad choices. I know that sometimes people do stay together for their children, but I believe that kids should be raised to know what happiness and love is, not misery and hatred.

For me, two happy families are better than none.