Up until about two years ago, I was a shy little girl that let people walk all over her. If you were mean to me, I’d take it without fighting back. I’d go out of my way to do things for people who wouldn’t do anything for me. I’d settle for way less than I deserved, until I realized that I was worth way more than I thought.

As someone who’d been a doormat her whole life, it was hard to transition into someone who stood her ground, stood up for herself, and politely demanded what she deserved. For a while, I let the boy I liked treat me like dirt and I think that’s what was my tipping point -- it took a while to get there, but I started requiring consistency and that’s what I got. I’d spent so much time accepting how he treated me that I lost a little bit of myself, but those pieces were replaced with pieces of a girl that would take no bull. I’d been stuck in a job for years that only offered me small raises when I worked harder than some of my coworkers that made more than me. For a while, I brooded over it. But something snapped in me, and I demanded a raise or I’d quit. My new boss fought hard for my raise, and I got it.

A few years ago, I could never imagine anyone saying that they’d be scared to cross me, but that’s who I am now. I don’t resort to violence, but I know what I can handle and how to ensure that others know as well. On more than one occasion, people have told me that they wouldn’t want to make me angry; my goal isn’t to make people fear me, but it’s to be respected. I’d consider myself an alpha female. I’m not scared to stand up for myself, work hard for what I want, ask for what I deserve, and demand to be treated as I should. The alpha female is a more of a mindset; it doesn’t mean you have to be able to benchpress your boyfriend or run 12 miles. It means you know what you deserve. Somewhere along the way, I discovered a confidence that I didn’t know existed and have applied it to all aspects of my life. I’m not easily intimidated by people (*cough cough* girls who hold grudges *cough cough*) and I’m not afraid to confront someone when the need arises. Maybe that makes me a b*itch, but I’d rather be a b*itch than a pushover. Ladies, stand up for yourself. Don’t let boys make you feel bad and don’t let other girls make you feel inferior. You are beautiful and strong; own it, work it. You’ll find someone who loves you for being you and sticking up for yourself. Get it girl. I’ll leave you with the words of the beautiful Eleanor Roosevelt:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”