In the 1950s, a man would still ask your dad to take you on a date. He would bring you flowers and hold your hand in public. It was like a fairytale. Now, the entire script has been flipped. Men don't ask your father for a date, but rather, they ask you to "Netflix and chill." Public displays of affection only happen when you're drunk and it's no longer sweet or kind. Tinder is the number one place to find hook-ups, and relationships are rare. In a world where relationships are not the norm, why do we expect cheating to only happen in the movies? Every day, more and more women are seeing the effects of a corrupt generation. You could be married or just dating a man. You could be Caucasian, African American, Asian, or Indian — because cheating is not discriminatory.
But cheating is more than a one time thing. And by this, I don't mean that if he does it once, that he'll do it again (spoiler alert: he will). I mean that cheating will effect your life over and over again until someone special enough comes along and changes everything. But this isn't about the special man. This is about the victim and what happens in the aftermath of cheating.
When your boyfriend cheats on you with someone else, everything changes. Men are no longer the object of your affection, but rather an obstacle to avoid. You have to avoid them physically for fear of falling for them again. You have to avoid them mentally for fear of falling for their tricks.
Every bit of trust that you have is shattered and you're no longer able to believe anything that guys say anymore. "I'll never hurt you like he did." Oh yeah? How? "I'm not going to leave you." Yes, you will. It doesn't matter if he is truthful or not, what he says is automatically assumed to be a lie.
Besides men becoming impossible to be with, it also becomes impossible to be around yourself. If you tell people why you and prince charming broke up, there will be endless questions and statements being made about it. "He was never good enough for you. You're better than him." But is that even true? You know it's not your fault and people will tell you that, but sometimes... you give in: you weren't pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, or loving enough. You'll question if you texted him too much or cared too much and pushed him away. In your mind, you won't feel good enough for a long time, a very long time.
You may lose some friends during your period of healing and it'll only exacerbate the problem. The feelings of loneliness will consume you for a bit.
And then, it won't.
One day, you'll realize it was never you. It was always him. He didn't appreciate your beauty or your wit. He didn't understand how perfect you were and still are. And he'll never get to. Some day soon, you will realize how there was never a reason to blame yourself for his issues. You'll find someone who will heal your heart and teach you how to love once more. Cheating makes you strong, but moving on and loving yourself makes your stronger.
