When I was about eight or nine years old, I remember eating lunch at my Pap and Grandma's kitchen in north-eastern rural West Virginia. We had probably just come in from weeding gardens, or picking some sort of berries. As I bit into whatever delicious homemade meal my Grandma had made for us, I remember telling my Pap "I have decided that when you guys get old, I am just going to take care of you guys, and that'll be my job." My grandparents chuckled, and the way my Pap replied to me still sticks with me today. He looked at me with his kind eyes, and said "Sarah, I would much rather see you done with college and paying someone to take care of me when I'm that old." Unfortunately, my Pap would pass away just a month before my high school graduation.

I will spare you all the details of his passing, and how that came about. His death was due to a massive heart attack and stroke that left him physically handicapped. Mentally my Pap was the same until six years later during his final hours on this earth.

One thing that all humans have in common on earth is death. As sad and morbid as it is, it is the one thing that unites us. Whether it be our own impending death or the death of a loved one, death is something that each one of us can relate to and feel sympathy for one another during this time.

My Pap was and is included in my top three list of most admired and loved people. There was not a person that did not know him as a friend, and if you were strangers it didn't last long. My Pap was a barber and school bus driver in his hometown, so many people knew him and loved him. He had a contagious laugh and smile that infected everyone. No matter your mood or the circumstance, if Friday Zetty was laughing, so was everyone else.

During the past year, I have had to learn how to cope with the death of a family member. My Pap was the first family member of mine to pass away that was so near and dear to my heart. At first, I had no idea how to cope, so I just ignored it. Obviously this is not the healthiest option, so eventually I had to learn how to cope. I thought about my first coping mechanism that I used when my mother told me that hospice had been called in. I wrote a letter to him, but it was mostly for me.

I found that writing was a great coping skill, and probably is for most other people. This is why I would recommend to anyone who has recently gone through some sort of loss to find the most effective and healthy coping mechanism that works for them. There are many other unhealthy ways to cope, and trust me I tried a few after my pap's death. However, I only found true satisfaction and peace within myself after I found the coping mechanism that suited my personality the best. I encourage you to search, and do the same.