My articles are different because they come from the heart and because I don’t write about 'normal things'. My articles are more like a journal of how I feel that ranges from my political perspectives to conversations about relationships, to something as minute as how I'm feeling on a particular day. So, this article is more so like an introductory piece of who I am. Sometimes, my articles may sound like I’m just rambling and ranting, but I’m not. I’m speaking from an authentic place. Now for some, this may sound boring and you may not continue reading. But for those who, even though may not be overly enthusiastic, but moderately interested, like the 'She-needs-to-make-an-intriguing-point-before-I-stop-reading' interested, are reading this then this is for you.
I write what I feel, and my feelings are random and all over the place. But to understand my pieces is to understand me. It's like getting to know me verbally before meeting me physically. By the way, thank you for taking the time to read this, it’s a pleasure meeting you. Here’s the thing: we have a hard time allowing people to connect with us. We're constantly wanting to give pre-requisites to others to either brace ourselves for the negativity or so that they can understand us more without passing judgment. Whichever it is, we are not being our authentic selves. Like I wrote in my previous article, and this applies to this article and for my articles to come as well, but I give up fear and give complete authorship to love.
It took me forever to write this article. Before I started writing the beginning of this article, 10 days prior I was struggling, thinking hard about a topic or what I should say. The only reason it took so long is because I realized that I don’t think I am as authentic as I say I am. I’ll explain that later.
I invite you to get to know me with every word written in this article. What I say and how I say it. Feel how I may be thinking and even feeling. Come from a place of understanding and openness and watch a relationship blossom. I would like to develop a bond with you and relate to the unspoken thoughts and unfelt feelings you may also deal with like me. Because I realized that the reason it is so hard for us to speak what’s on our heart is because we don’t speak from our heart. We speak from intellect, pride, and fear. This makes it extremely difficult to be honest, not only with ourselves but with others as well. It makes it challenging to come out and say, “Thank you. I didn’t want to hear it, but what you said helped me,". Not speaking from a place of truth can make it hard to also say, “I’m sorry for hurting you, I never wanted to lose you and still don’t. Can we be friends still?” or “I understand your logic. I never thought of it that way. I still have my own opinions but I can agree with you.”
That’s why when we’re in situations where we’re at a loss for words. We've built an entire era of not speaking from our heart, so now we have to cut bushes and remove debris just to find out the real reason of why we feel the way we do in order to be able to speak articulately.
Why are we always trying to be politically correct? We are so uptight; I just want us to relax. Communication is the key to healthy relationships. But not just any kind of communication, it has to be healthy communication. I thought that this cliché saying was a lie because I was the cause of most of my ending friendships. I wanted to talk about everything; I thought that as long as I made it a dialogue and not a monologue I was communicating effectively. I was wrong. Communication is more than talking; it is understanding, it is listening, it is body language, it is silence, it is facial expressions, it is the unsaid.
It is what is rarely discussed and often misconstrued, which is sadly the byproduct to our relationships today. It is quite hard for a Nigerian who speaks Igbo to talk to a German in their own language and for a German to talk the Nigerian in his own language. But if both learned each other’s language, then the Nigerian can speak German so that the German can understand and the German can speak Igbo so the Nigerian can understand. A mastery of communication would be both nationalities still knowing each other’s language but having the ability to speak in their own language still and understand each other.
I communicate verbally, nonverbally, and through actions. I am more accepting and understanding of the way others communicate. I’m on a journey of freedom. The first stop is learning how to talk to people. Thank you for engaging me. Talk to you again.
