I always remember being told "Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had," but never in a million years did I think this exact quote would soon apply to not only myself but to my entire family.
If you know my family or myself, I'm sure you have heard bits and pieces of this story, but for those of you who do not know my family or myself, I'm about to tell you how our lives changed in the blink of an eye. September 11, 2014 was the day I almost lost my dad.
I remember this day like it was yesterday, I came home from school and sat down to do homework when out of the corner of my eye, I watched my dad stand up and fall directly into the wall hitting his head. I knew something was seriously wrong. He was slurring his speech, he couldn’t walk, he was gasping for air, and he couldn’t move his left arm. I immediately dialed 911 and within minutes a slew of police officers, EMTs, and paramedics surrounded my father. I remember hearing the EMTs say things like “BP of 188/102, oxygen levels at 88, left side weakness, possible stroke.” What I would think to be a few hour hospital visit would turn into endless days and nights.
After many tests were run, and nearly six hours later, doctors determined my father suffered a massive stroke which left him paralyzed on his left side. They decided to move my dad into the intensive care unit until his blood pressure was at a normal level, and he did not need to be monitored 24/7. He spent almost 2 weeks in the ICU until he was moved to the step down unit, and a week later, he was transferred to Kessler Rehabilitation Institute where he would spend several months in hopes to gain back his left side, learn to walk and talk again, and most importantly learn how to do all the things he was once able to do like dress himself and bathe himself. At the age of 16, I didn’t know what to do or think so I bottled up all of my emotions. I had to be strong for my mom and sister so I held back my tears to comfort theirs. Not only was I upset, but I was mad. How could a 46-year-old man be healthy one day and fighting for his life the next? I did not understand it. I watched the guy who worked every day of his life lay in a hospital bed motionless hooked up to a bunch of machines. I never thought something like this could happen to my family, especially my dad of all people, but it happened and it can happen to just about anyone.
I lived in fear the entire two months he was in Kessler that one day the doctors would call saying he did not make it, but fortunately, we never received a call. Finally, those two months were over and he was finally strong enough to come home even though he was still unable to walk on his own. When he came home our family’s lifestyle had to change. My mom had to take a leave of absence from work, I missed countless days of school, and my sister had to drop two college classes in order to care for him. Our house had to become handicap accessible so the family room that was on the first floor was converted into a handicap accessible bedroom and bathroom, that way my father did not need to climb stairs, and our kitchen was rearranged so my dad did not have to struggle when he moved around in his wheelchair.
My father’s stroke took a huge toll on our entire family. I never saw my mother or sister cry so much. I never saw my mother sit in silence or sleep an entire day away. I never thought that at the age of 16 I would be the one wiping away my mother’s tears because that’s what my dad was there for, right? More than all of that, I never thought I would be the one staying strong and telling everyone that everything was going to be okay, because to be honest, I didn’t know if everything would be okay, I just knew that if I said it would be okay, I would psych myself into thinking it was okay.
What happened on September 11, 2014, will forever be a horrible memory. If I told you it gets easier to deal with, I would be lying. How do you watch someone you love so much be affected by something that they don’t deserve? I watched my father go from doing everything to being wheelchair bound for the rest of his life. This year will mark two years since my father’s stroke. Unfortunately, he is still unable to walk and the doctors have since declared him permanently disabled.
My father's stroke has taught me a lot but one of the most important things it has taught me is to always have faith. People always ask how we stay so strong, trust me it's not easy, but it helps. Having the support from countless doctors, nurses, physical therapists, family, friends, and even complete strangers has made this journey a whole lot easier, and if it weren't for them, my dad wouldn't be where he is today.
Dad, I know we don't always get along, and I may get frustrated with you, but I want you to know that no matter how long it takes, and no matter what we have to do, you will walk again.
Life can sometimes throw you curve balls, my dad's illness being one of them, but I've learned so much from this, and being positive is sometimes the only thing you can be.
