I recently came across a quote on Instagram I felt described my life perfectly:

"Sometimes, the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us."

I used to ask myself "why me?" all the time. That's before I realized how selfish and pathetic it sounded. I can't help myself from wondering what life would be like if I still had my mom here with me or if some things never happened, but I can't say that there have been no positive outcomes in the past few years. I like to think of how much of a better person I have become. At such a young age, I quickly learned more about who I am and what I'm capable of. I have grown in so many ways, and although I'm still growing, I was LUCKY to learn early on how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken from you. I learned not to waste days and time on people and things that don't make me happy. Sometimes the hardest thing in life is telling your own self that it might be time to let some things and people go, especially if they seem to only be causing sadness in your life. My life experiences have shown me the comparisons of the people that unconditionally love and support me, and those who only say they do with no following actions. And although initially it really hurt me, now I see that again, I have only gotten stronger from it.

I realized that I don't have to explain myself to anyone or ever feel guilty about choosing to do things that make me happy. I used to always justify my actions until I realized how silly that was. This has taught me that I should never form into someone I am not, or pretend to be someone other than the true Olivia. I grew tired of feeling like I had to feel a certain way about my life and decisions because of pressure around me.

I know what it feels like to not see a purpose in living because your heart is so broken, but I also know how good it feels to be liberated from this darkness because of true love and acceptance.The best thing/s in my life came from the most horrible pain and it has nothing to do with materials or big achievements. The best thing that came from the losses I suffered this past year, whether to death or distance, was my true SELF. I no longer fight for things that only bring me stress and sadness. I have discovered the Olivia that so badly wanted to come out, but was constantly in the shadows of judgement and worries. I am content with my life and my successes no matter what anyone has to say about it, I am finally comfortable with my life and the people that have blessed me enough to stick around and love me. I am not a selfish person by all means, but the only way you can unconditionally love others is if you unconditionally love yourself. You'd be surprised how amazing it feels to free yourself of the grip that other people or things might have on you and your life and just live doing you.