Stereotype: transitive verb: “to believe unfairly that all people or things with a particular characteristic are the same,” –Merriam Webster dictionary.
We all stereotype, it’s natural. Our brains take in so much information at once that it needs to simplify a few things: lumping people into broad groups allows it to do less work. It is also used as a fight or flight response, if you see a scary man in the shadows you can stereotype him as a threat, and run. If you wait to see what the man is really like, it may be too late.
However, stereotyping becomes a problem when the snap judgments become the only judgment. Stereotypes are like really small boxes, and when a few people seem to fit into them, we try to shove everyone else into the same box as well. And they just don’t fit. We are all too complex and different to fit into the same small box.
We know this. So we try to break ourselves free from the boxes, particularly the boxes that paint us in an unflattering light. We are always trying to separate ourselves from negative stereotypes. For example, last night I was listening to “Xo” by Kelsea Ballerini and one of her lyrics stood out to me: “I might be platinum blonde, but I ain’t dumb.” While she is separating herself from the stereotype, she is also reinforcing it. As a blonde myself, I was offended by the implications of this statement. This statement implies that all blondes, with the exception of Kelsea Ballerini, are unintelligent.
Of course this doesn’t just apply to hair stereotypes:
“I’m a feminist but I’m not like a crazy bra burner.”
“I’m in a sorority but I don’t get drunk every weekend and live off my daddy’s money.”
“I’m a Christian but I don’t hate gay people.”
Trust me, I understand the urge to separate ourselves from the unappealing stereotypes that accompany our various labels. I am certainly guilty of claiming to be the exception to the rule instead of suggesting that the rule may not be true at all. But that’s just it: by saying you're not like them instead of fighting mostly false stereotypes, we are suggesting it is true for everyone but us. The only way to fight false stereotypes is to be the example of what it really means to be a feminist, a blonde, a Christian, or in a sorority.
People can’t fit into the small boxes stereotypes try to put them in, so keep proudly bursting out of the box. Keep in mind that you’re not the only one who doesn’t fit. Instead of focusing on being the exception to the rule, change the rule.
