Change is Changing Me
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Change is Changing Me

Learning to love the person I have become.

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If there's one thing I've learned lately, it's that life is constantly changing. The old is being washed away by all the new, and as bad as it hurts: letting go is sometimes the best choice to make. Comfortable doesn't always mean you're where you are supposed to be. In fact, it's oddly quiet the opposite.

From the first day of kindergarten, we begin to dream of the day we will walk across the field to shake our principal's hand and receive a piece of paper we spent 13 years earning. We dream of leaving home and finding ourselves. We dream that everything will be in order and all planned out.

We dream all of it up in our heads, and then we turn 18. We graduate from high school. We have no idea of anything we are about to step into. We make irresponsible choices. We have our first big breakup that wrecks our world. We lose friends. We disconnect with the people we spent every day with for so many years. We have to register for college on our own.

Life hits us. We feel broken. We feel incomplete. We are fearful. All because we were too worried about what the future would hold to realize that the future we were dreaming of was happening right now.

I, personally, have found myself so paranoid about not having full control that I have lost all control. I knew that high school was about to end. I knew I would lose people that I had always grown up around. I knew that life was about to hit like a ton of bricks. I knew that I would soon register for college. I knew all of those things, but I didn't realize that it would happen so quickly. I didn't realize that so much would change in just the short little month of May. I didn't realize that the future I had dreamed of was slowly but surely becoming the past.

I feel as if I've lost sight of who I am. I've lost the girl I had always wanted to be. I was so busy worrying about what the future would hold to enjoy those little moments in the present. I wasted so much time worrying instead of making the most of the time I was in.

I am at a point in life where I see that the only thing constant around me is change. We lose years. We lose friends. We lose lovers. We lose so much, but in return, we gain it all back in different aspects and concepts.

I have learned that God only allows us to go through things he knows we can handle. He never promised us that things would always work out how we had planned. He never even promised us a future. He promised us now, and he promised his provision.

I have lost sight of who I am because I have been too worried about who I used to be or who I will be in the future. I have found myself burnt out because I want to be comfortable. I want to have everything in order. I want the chaos of life to come to a halt. I want all of these things, and I lose sight of what I need.

I need to let life happen. I need to enjoy the now. I need to love who I am and who I am becoming. I need to let things go. I need to live life exactly how I've always imagined. I need to put myself first. I need to start doing instead of dreaming. I need to let the past and the future be what they already are. I need to start now.

I am learning to let go of things in the past and love the girl I am in this moment. Life may be in the pits right now. I may be struggling and feel like I have lost every part of me. Truth is: I have. I've lost the girl I used to be because I'm not her anymore. I have changed. I have grown. I am right here in this very moment. I am learning to love the girl I see in the mirror despite the flaws. I love who she is right now.

I am learning to love the adventure of not knowing what's next but being hopeful it'll be something great. I am not gonna stop planning or worrying about my future, but I am gonna stop dwelling there. I'm done hating myself for something I'm not. I'm not my past or my future. I am my present, and I'm loving it here.

I challenge you to truly examine where you are at this very moment and love that person. Love the person you see in the mirror. Love who you are because for now that is what you are.

Find joy in the journey. Find hope in the chaos. Find love in the lowest places.

Life is constantly changing, and that's perfectly fine. Stay true to who you are. Wake up every morning and love your messy hair and the pudge you have on your stomach. Go to work and do your best. Go home and spoil yourself.

Make the most of now because soon enough this too will pass. Love who you are becoming, but also love who you already are. You deserve to. Life changes, but so do we.

Live for the now. Love the body you are in. You are okay just the way you are. It is indeed okay to not be okay. Love yourself, and choose yourself.

Life is good. Live in the now. Be still. Things will change soon enough. Let life happen. Be present. Embrace the change.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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