For as long as I can remember, I have been addicted to sugar. As a child, I can recall picking out the marshmallows in a box of lucky charms, eating entire bars of Hershey’s chocolate on camping trips and just eating spoonful’s of the sweet crystals straight from the sugar jar we kept on the kitchen counter.

Now it’s not like I started using on my own; I was pretty much doomed from the womb. Don’t get me wrong I love my Mom, but the woman used to eat Sweet Tarts when she was pregnant with me—I never had a chance.

As a child devouring sugar the way I did was fun and harmless. My teeth could rot because they were just going to fall out anyways and the frequent spurts of diarrhea were more bearable when my young mind would refuse to learn the lesson that lots of sugar meant lots of bowel movements.

Unfortunately, I am now defined as a “young adult” therefore what I eat affects most facets of life. My body is essentially done growing so it’s really all down hill from here.

This past week, my roommate Blaze was looking at recent pictures of Zac Efron on his computer, admiring Efron’s mesomorphic physique. A friend had sent him a link that described Efron’s dietary change with striking photo evidence. Turns out Efron went on a radical diet allowing him to eat little to no carbs and zero sugar for nine days.

So with an invigorated momentum coming from the belief our bodies would resemble Zac Efron after nine days, Blaze and I went to Whole Foods and bought just about every low carb, zero sugar food they had.

Our selection was slim.

The low carb, no sugar diet is very similar to the paleo diet minus fruits because, yes, they have lots of carbs. Once we got home we took stock of what we had. Chicken, ground turkey, eggs, salmon, spinach, kale, asparagus, white mushrooms, peppers, cheese, butter and coconut oil. Despite the lack of diverse options, we were still committed.

Things started off easy. I ate scrambled eggs with salmon and vegetables and Blaze made a festive salad sprinkled with all sorts of low carb fixin’s. We devored that and it was still early evening so we got hungry again. On this diet snacking options are limited so we allowed for the consumption of apples and bananas. I mean we weren’t just going to let them go to waste.

Several times Blaze and I brought up the sweet tooth craving we both had. Images of whoopee pies began floating in my mind’s eye, which was strange because I couldn’t think of the last time I had wanted one so badly.

One of the lessons I learned from doing this diet was that you really begin to want something when you are not allowed to have it. Like an inmate staring out at a grassy field through an iron barred window, I was staring at pictures of chocolate cake through my computer screen.

I managed to get through the next morning with another plate of salmon and eggs, but with a different set of vegetables. I ate as much food as I could and then set out to for the day. I do have to admit I felt better; I was not as drowsy as I usually was in the morning. Maybe this was me being caught up in the idea of the whole thing, but hey whatever works right?

Things got difficult that night when I went over to my friend’s place in the North End. Everyone wanted to drink, but I couldn’t have beer because carbs so I did some menial google research and found out gin was a no carb no sugar drink. After a few drinks we all got pretty hungry so we headed over to Bova’s. I don’t know why I went along because I winced at the various sugary treats and bountifully breaded snacks. In my slightly buzzed state I walked up slowly to the showcase and placed both hands on the glass. I was eyeing a piece of chocolate cake topped with a strawberry. I pressed my nose against the case and was about to lick it when my friend stopped me. My friend offered to buy it for me, but I told him no—Blaze and I and made a commitment and I was going to stick to it.

The commitment was more like the one Brenna Murphy made to me before she left for summer camp after our sixth grade year, that she would still like me just as much if not more once she came back; it was hollow and too weak to fight the temptation of Charlie Frasier.

I somehow made it through the night and the next morning, but my integrity collapsed when I remembered that I had dinner plans with some friends at the Cheesecake Factory. I was screwed. The Cheesecake Factory dips everything in fat and sugar before serving it. Blaze told me I could still get something off the menu I just had to be smart.

Once I got to the restaurant I broke down. I ate most of the basket bread, devoured an entire plate of chicken and biscuits and finished it off with a piece of chocolate cheesecake. I did, however, abstain from soda or beer and drank only water.

All in all, I lasted about 40 hours on the diet and learned a lot about myself. Mainly, that I can’t survive without sugar and that I am okay with that. I accept who I am and that sugar has been and always will be staple of my diet. I mean I’m an assistant head baker at a bakery for crying out loud.

Oh, by the way, Blaze lasted for another day before inhaling a bag of cookies and a box of donuts.

Who wants to look like Zac Efron anyways?