So, most of my friends know, but for those that don't, I identify as a bisexual man, and National Bisexuality Awareness Week was this last week (September 19-24), so I felt like this was an appropriate time to write this article. Often times, the B in LGBT is forgotten, erased, or simply categorized with the Ls and Gs, so the purpose of this article is to offer some advice so that you can make sure that "Your Bisexual" feels validated in their sexuality. Woo!
1. Don't Just Assume That They're Gay
I can't tell you the number of times I was asked "So you just don't want to come all the way out of the closet?" when I first started coming out to people. Look, some people do use bisexuality as a "stepping stone" to coming out as gay, but you automatically assuming that as my situation is hurtful and degrading. That tells me that you can't accept that what I'm telling you is my truth.
2. Don't Ask "So Are You More Straight or Gay?"
Ummm, neither. I am 0% either of those and 100% bisexual.
3. "You've Never Had a Boyfriend, So How Do You Know?"
PLEASE, for the love of God, please stop using this as a question to try and validate someone's sexuality. I have never had a girlfriend either, but no one seemed to raise any question when I said that I liked girls.
4. Validate That They're Sexuality Isn't Just a Phase
When your friend gets into a new relationship, don't start describing it as a hetero-/homosexual relationship. Your friend will always be bisexual, no matter which gender they are in a relationship with.
5. Don't Say They're Being Greedy
As if being told that you just "can't choose whether you're gay or straight" isn't bad enough, turning around to be told that your sexuality is hindering others sucks even more. Just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean that I want to get into the pants of every person I see. I still have a type, I still have a personal moral code when it comes to sex, and I still want a monogamous relationship. Also, it is never my fault that you're not able to find a relationship, so maybe work on yourself first before you start pointing your dirty fingers.
6. Speak Out Against Bi Erasure
Even when "Your Bisexual" isn't around, it is important to advocate for bisexuality. If not, this stigma of actually being gay or not being straight enough will continue to trickle through society and make future generations of our children to embrace their sexuality.
