Somebody's, pulling me close to the ground. I feel panicked. Not like I haven't been here before. My yesterdays and tomorrows resemble today. I am not immune, I'm just fast. Sometimes that's your only option. To run. Whether it's being chased, to make haste or trying to escape, you run. Everything that I fear, that I aspire, that has found and alluded me, I wanted to capture in this poem.
RUN
Running from police through avenues and dimly lit streets.
My dark skin is all the reason they ever needed,
To hassle me.
Running from sentencing, courts, or my convictions.
Running because I’m pretentious,
Pretending to chase missions.
Running from financial burdens, poor excuses for certain.
Running to ascertain but my existence just seems worthless.
Running from disenchantment.
Running to find purpose.
Running towards a finish,
Keep thinking that I deserve it.
Running from a perception.
Running because I neglect shit.
Chasing a reception,
I’m nothing without acceptance.
Running after a dream cause my nightmares are full of rejection.
Running after a truth but,
Only end up at a deception.
Running after a next, what I’ve left behind is a mess.
Running and can’t breathe.
Running because I believe.
Running from my failures,
Playing catch up to achieve.
Running to stay faithful.
Running so she believes.
Chasing what I promised her,
Hoping she never leaves.
Running from a reality where everything is exactly what it seems.
Running the race solo, got tired of running with teams.
Running from my father’s shadow,
The whole apple that fell from the tree.
Running from similarities,
Chasing how individuality is seen.
Running from confidence as shaky as my balance on life’s beam.
Running from self-esteem I’ve torn down,
That I’ve demeaned.
Running to scrub clean.
Running from in-between a lost-ness and a hope that carries a gleam.
Running from what I meant, what I said, and how it seemed.
Chasing a currency that in a pocket I could never keep.
Running for urgency because time never retreats.
Running because I’m scared,
There I’ve said it,
Though I told myself I wouldn’t dare.
Running from empty stares, these letdowns they come in pairs.
Chasing a better me,
While running from what I used to be.
Ran down by what I am.
Held down by every “I can’t”.
Running though out of breath.
Winded with every pant.
Life is just so uphill most times,
Getting harder to take a step.
So I’m running,
I keep running,
This is all that is left.
To run is to move with speed.
I’m running hoping to free.
To release.
Whatever I’m running from that keeps me,
Running from me.
