Nowadays, I feel like feminists need to be reminded of what the true definition of feminism is. Yes, it is advocating for equal rights between men and women. And one of those rights is choice. The freedom to choose. Us women have to be more accepting of other women's choices, even if they don't necessarily align with ours.
Okay, so you want to go to law school and become a lawyer before getting married and having kids. The girl next to you may want to get married at 20 and have little kids running around everywhere. Both of these women are allowed to choose what they want to do with their lives.
The other day, I was talking to my friend and she told me her best friend got married back in June. Her friend was only 20, just two years older than me. What shocked me more was that she just met the guy in January of the same year. I'm not gonna lie, I was disgusted by this girl's reckless decisions, even though I've never met her in my life.
But then, my friend explained to me that the bride wanted to get married and have kids since she was little. She showed me pictures of the wedding and this so-called reckless girl looked so happy in her bright green sari. There wasn't a single picture where the girl wasn't smiling. This 20-year-old girl got the wedding of her dreams. And that was her choice.
At first, I thought this girl had no value in herself. That she was a typical brown girl groomed by a patriarchal society to become a baby machine. It took me a while to realize that she was happy. She is still going to college and working, so she still has aspirations. Her aspirations just happened to include a husband at a young age.
My own mother stayed at home for most of her life, raising me and my three sisters. And she is one of the strongest women I know. She believes in raising her daughters the same way she would raise a son. Some families would force their daughters to marry as young as possible, but my mom always believed in her daughters getting a proper education and succeeding in their careers before settling down. Just because my mother was a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean she doesn't have value in herself. As a woman, she does whatever she pleases without paying heed to others opinions or comments.
Recently, Cardi B dropped out of Bruno Mars' tour for this fall because she wanted to stay at home with baby Kulture. When she announced this on Instagram, some people threw a virtual fit:
So many people, especially other women, are bashing Cardi just because she wants to spend time with her baby daughter. She just isn't mentally prepared to leave baby Kulture behind to go on tour, and that is perfectly fine. It is her choice to prioritize being a mother over her career.
And the same people who are bashing Cardi for her decisions would also put down women like Kim Kardashian for working too much and not caring about her kids.
Moral of the story: women seem to never win. Another moral of the story: women need to stop bringing other women down. We need to support each other and respect each other's choices because that is the definition of a true feminist. Do not judge women for covering their hair, or being a housewife, or marrying at 20. If that is their personal choice and they are happy with it, we are in no place to criticize their decisions and deem them any less of a woman.