How Do You Know When You're In Love?

How Do You Know When You're In Love?

Why don't we talk about this more?


Tell me. I want to know.

I'm tired of hearing, "You'll know when you know."

I overthink everything and anything, pecking at thoughts until they become crumbs that make up their very own loaves of bread. I never stop thinking or analyzing or wondering what words and actions of others, as well as those of myself, mean. I get so confused and so in my own head.

I am so good at doubting. I am so good at trusting but then also convincing myself my trust is just delusional and based on no foundation. It's just me.

My overthinking allows me to be an emotional, loving, considerate, reflective, and deeply rooted in the world kind of person. I feel everything so intensely. I feel like my heart is in everything.

And now I am giving my full heart to this one guy I am really starting to fall for. But it's scary. I'm so scared because loving comes naturally to me. What if it doesn't for him? What if he isn't the kind of person who would fall in love with me?

I miss him and I want to be with him as much as I can. I tried writing a list the other day of everything I appreciated about him to give to him, and I had to stop myself from writing until my notebook ran out of paper.

He has the best laugh in the world and his eyes hold such sincerity and depth. There's so much to him. He's not someone to easily figure out and for an over-thinker like me, it's both beautiful and beautifully frustrating. I just want to know all his thoughts and be there for him.

I want to love him.

So how do you know? How do you know when you're allowed to start loving? Is it when they show love for you first? Because that can't be too fair either. Why is it so bad for me to be the one to take initiative? Be the one to show the love...

I want to be a constant state of love for the world. I want to radiate love out of each of my pores, my eyes, my heart... Why are romantic relationships any different then?

Shouldn't we all be in love from the start, because this is the person we can see ourselves loving one day and that thought in itself is love? So maybe, by picking and committing to someone, you are already in love. It's just the first phase of this love and with time, you get deeper and deeper. Love just has layers, but we might all be in love already, when we've decided to take off the first one.

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Why I Spend So Much Time With My Boyfriend

And I love it!

Many people think that spending too much time with your significant other is a bad thing. I think that wanting to spend time with them is a blessing. Don't get me wrong, we do not spend every waking minute together. We make sure that we save time for our friends and family, but in the end, we cherish our time together.

He brings out the best in me. When I first met my boyfriend, I knew he was something special. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that it would be important someday. I found out that when I am with him, I am an all-around happier person. I look at things in different ways, and I now know a whole new world of people. He has helped me overcome obstacles that have been holding me back for quite some time.

We enjoy each others company. I can't even begin to tell you how many times we have just sat in silence simply knowing that you are in the company of someone who loves you is comforting. He makes things that would usually be boring a lot more fun. When we do homework together, he makes the work seem like it's not work, and things like a simple trip to Walmart ends up being a comedy show.

We are best friends. Many people say that they are best friends with their significant other. For us, it's true. I can tell him anything. There is no hiding things in our relationship; we come right out and say what we want to say.

He pushes me to succeed. Whether it is with weight loss or homework, he holds me accountable. When I start a new workout, he keeps me on track to be whom I want to be. We make sure that we put homework before going out and that helps us in the long run. Giving up that pizza can be easy when you are spending time with someone you love.

He makes life seem not so hard. College can be hard and make life difficult. It seems that I always have something new happening or another meeting to attend. When I get stressed or overwhelmed, he makes sure that I take the time to put into perspective what really matters and focus on that. And when that fails, we go get McDonald's.

He supports me. He has never once told me that one of my ideas was stupid or out of reach. Whenever something new comes up that I think would be exciting, he is the first one to rally behind me and let me know that it is a good idea (even if it's not).

I love him. Love is a strong word, but I can honestly say I have never felt like this before. Between everything that he does for me, I do just as much for him simply because I love seeing him happy. Spending so much time together isn't hard to do because we love each other. If somewhere down the road we decide to split ways, I will still love him and he will still love me. That will never go away.

Cover Image Credit: Hanna Hartman

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?


I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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