Finally, after ignoring 20 seasons of extravagant dates, stressful cocktail parties, and rose ceremonies that supposedly lead to true love, I've given in. I've started watching "The Bachelor." The one episode that I told myself that I would watch to satisfy my curiosity turned into two, then three, and then four. Now, after five episodes, I'm hooked on the mindlessly satisfying entertainment. I, Kyra Kondis, have joined the millions of people who spend an hour every week watching women attempt to woo a man who they barely know into a marriage that probably won't last.
Please, don't get me wrong when I say that I don't have faith in the methods of "The Bachelor." I'm not a cynic or a grouch who doesn't believe in love. I agree with the notion that there's someone out there for everyone and, if it means anything, I've definitely seen "The Notebook" more than five times. However, "The Bachelor," as entertaining as it may be, just doesn't quite seem like the best way to find lasting love. Many of the couples formed on camera break up in the long run and, although the show has been a huge commercial success for 14 years, out of the 19 "matches" that it has made thus far, only two have remained intact. That's a mere 10.5 percent.
Why isn't "The Bachelor," a show that is essentially for matchmaking, an effective way to find "true love?" As I watched the first few episodes of season 20, I was determined to pinpoint the program's fatal flaws and it didn't take long for three aspects of the show's process to stand out as clear roadblocks to long-term relationship success. Listen up Ben Higgins, because this applies to you.
1. Most of the dates are extravagant and unrealistic.
In reality, when are Ice Cube and Kevin Hart ever going drive you and your date around in a convertible and take you jacuzzi window shopping? The answer, for 99 percent of us, is never. The remaining 1 percent is made up of Ben and contestant Caila, who went on this ostentatious date in season 20's second episode. Other ridiculously lavish dates that have occurred this season include a helicopter ride to a fancy California spa, a helicopter ride to watch fireworks in Vegas (What is it with this show and helicopters?), and a hot-air-balloon tour of Mexico City.
This is all really nice, Ben, but when you're done with the show and have picked a girl to be your potential spouse, you're probably going to be going on fewer fancy helicopter tours and spending a lot more time at Chipotle or on the couch watching Netflix and eating Cheetos. How are you supposed to determine who you're compatible with on a day-to-day scale if you never do anything on the show that you would actually do in real life?
2. It's hard to act normal in front of a bunch of cameras.
Every interaction that any of the women has with Ben is filmed, even if it doesn't make it on the show, according to former contestant Ashleigh Hunt. This means that as the women get to know Ben, there is a chance that any given moment of their time together will be on television, so they are careful not to do anything embarrassing or unflattering. Even in non-televised situations, most people don't feel comfortable acting completely natural around the person who they're dating for a while, so adding cameras to the early stages of relationships makes it even more challenging for the women on the show to be themselves.
So, Ben, what if the woman who you choose has a habit that you aren't prepared to deal with? What if she has fifteen toes, doesn't believe in toothpaste, or only eats foods that start with the letter "G?" Let's face it, no situation where you're surrounded by a camera crew is truly "natural," especially when producers are prompting you to talk about certain things that will make the show more dramatic. If you're looking for "the one," you might want to do that on your own, without a bunch of middle-aged men with cameras hissing at you to ask her what her favorite kind of wine is and how many boyfriends she's had.
3. Some people have questionable motives.
Sure, a lot of people go on "The Bachelor" because they haven't had luck in recent relationships and they want to find someone to spend their life with. Unfortunately, there's also a pretty good chance that at least half of them are only on the show for the fame. Hunt affirms that about 50 percent of "Bachelor" contestants partake in the program as a means of seeking fame. If they hide their real motives well enough, there's always a possibility that they'll actually get that coveted final rose. If Ben falls for a woman who wants D-list celebrity status more than she wants him, then their relationship is bound to fail.
Ben, I know that you want to believe that every contestant on the show is on it just for you, but you should take an objective look at these women for your own sake (particularly Olivia, but that's just me). The girls who act the most dramatic tend to get the most screen time, so chances are good that the "crazy" ones are the ones who are trying to get put on television as much as possible, perhaps in pursuit of notoriety. If this isn't the case, then they might actually just be crazy and you should probably avoid them anyway.
In the end, someone's going to get that final rose. Although I hope that it ends in "happily ever after" this time, chances are good that it won't. Nevertheless, the program is highly entertaining and I plan on watching the rest of the season, superficial relationships and all.
