Amore.
Upenzi.
Pyaar.
Love.
An everlasting concept that started wars, created beautiful works of art and literature and fueled millions of heartbreak songs that annoy us to death on the radio.The feeling that sends enough warmth in our body to make our toes curl and our heart beat faster. The feeling that causes butterflies to dance in our stomach and our legs turn into noodles. Everybody loves that rush you get in the beginning of meeting someone new.
But some people can’t let go of it.
Recently, I read up on a psychological condition called love addiction. Love addicts are basically people who are in love with being in love. This reaction is physiologically based, with the firing of chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin as well as other hormones, which cause them to get an adrenaline rush out of romantic relationships. They thrive on the feeling of happiness and excitement- the honeymoon phase of a relationship, if you will — which triggers a compulsive behavior to almost need that rush.
But is what they’re addicted to really love? I don’t think so.
I think you can get addicted to attention. You can I think you can bounce from relationship to relationship because you constantly need someone there and call your frivolous feelings “love”- and get addicted to that. But I feel love is so much deeper than just chemicals firing off in your brain.
To me, love is not butterflies and noodle legs. It’s being calm and centered around someone. It’s understanding them and feeling grounded. Your heart just doesn’t race but your entire body just feels this warmth. Like a breezy summer day warmth. Not too hot. Not too cold.
Perfect.
You can’t be addicted to healthy loving relationships where both parties truly love each other. If you are a love addict, the “love” you feel is coming from your brain associating the high highs in a relationship with love. When you don’t get that high, you crash. Almost like a drug addiction, which the symptoms render to be quite similar. You fall into depressive lows, which in turn fuels your dependency for that rush once again.
Though there aren’t active institutions specifically for love addicts, behavioral therapists could be a good place to start. You can overcome anything with the right guidance and effort.
No addiction is healthy, even if it’s “love.”
