Remember when telling someone you had a crush on them in grade school used to be as easy as chasing them around on the playground? Of course, you would never verbally tell them because that would result in your heart beating so hard in your chest that your Lucky Charms from breakfast were bound to make a reappearance. Chasing your crush was clearly the only appropriate response - a happy medium between the mental distress of never telling them and relentlessly flirting.
Back in those grade school days, the concept of a crush used to be a purely good intention - almost like second nature. As feelings blossomed into something more complex, the literal playground chase turned into a figurative one through middle school teasing, awkward high school dances, and now tireless college partying. Whether it’s age, society, or a mix of both that has ripped this innocent chase to shreds, the concept has undoubtedly become endangered in the lives of college students.
So, what exactly are these college pursuits, or dare I label them relationships, lacking?
The beloved Aretha Franklin could not have said it any better herself with one simple seven letter word, "R-E-S-P-E-CT."
Respect.
Countless times, I have watched as beautiful, intellectual women work to promote themselves by dressing in skimpy outfits just so they might be noticed by a guy when going out. On the flip side, I have also witnessed men strategically planning what drinks they should serve to entice those same women to come to their parties.
After hours of dancing and fun, the party begins to dwindle down as all of the men and women mentioned above begin to pair off and leave the party together, only to wake up the next day in either regret or blissful naivety.
This same scene becomes a weekly routine for many as he or she keeps trying to find the "right" guy or the "right" girl. Yes, this method may work out for some, but the majority continue turning up empty handed as many of those men and women are only looking for a temporary hook-up.
This is the collegiate reality.
But what would it be like if these same men and women had respect for one another?
Before mutual respect can even be a possibility, they must show some respect for themselves, such as women showing off their personalities a little more than they do their bodies, or men focusing a little more on the value of the women they'll be with rather than the number they'll have in their dorm rooms. This is where a healthy relationship, or even friendship, begins.
Respect is a two way street. With single sided respect comes questions and uncertainties that cause the relationship to crumble bit by bit until it totally withers away.
Do they want what's best for me? Do they trust me? Am I good enough for this person?
Left unanswered, these questions can be detrimental not only for the relationship, but for the self-respect of person who fosters them.
A substantial relationship should not, by any means, leave those questions unanswered for either person. It should be one that fosters wholehearted honesty, steadfast support, care without consequence, and ultimately an unconditional mutual respect for one another. One that sustains those purely good intentions that used to be fostered in the now distant childhood chase.
