Growing up, my family has never been the lovey, dovey type. They only show affection, or to be quite frank with you...any other emotion besides anger unless absolutely necessary. (i.e. funerals, when someone gets admitted to the hospital, oh and I got 1 "Congratulations" on my high school graduation night from my family). My family is quick to bring up the negatives about practically anything. You could win the lottery and they would complain and argue with you as to why you choose to gamble in the first place.

Flashback to my graduation night: I got yelled at about something so minor that to this day, I have no recollection as to what it was that made my family get so angry in the first place. However, I do remember thinking... this is supposed to be my shining moment and it is clouded by the negative thoughts and comments made by certain individuals in my family. On the way there, I was trying hard not to cry over the things my family were saying to me. During the ceremony, I stifled back tears because my mind was still on these harsh things. Finally, after the notorious hat toss, I let loose. I ugly cried, which seemed normal because everyone thought I was just crying about leaving my childhood friends and stepping out into the real world.

So, with that being said, I have really no clue as to where I get my need to tell people how much I love them, or how proud I am of them. It must be from the lack of exposure to it growing up that now as a functioning young adult I tend to be over affectionate and over celebratory.

I make it a point to congratulate my loved ones. I make sure my boyfriend knows I love him and just how much I love him. I make sure my close ones know how proud I am of them. My sister could bring home a low "C" grade and I'm the one who tells her, "Well, it could have been a "F," so for that we are grateful." Praising my loved ones comes easy to me.

But every so often, I just wish someone would congratulate me. I am not saying I need anyone's approval, I am just saying that no matter how strong I am. I sometimes lose motivation too. I am working my butt off. I work two jobs, I am taking a full course load, trying to get into shape, trying to manage my social life and still trying to give myself some care and love, because my time is so caught up with all of this other stuff that my self care takes a back burner. Ask me the last time I got my hair cut and styled? I don't even remember how long ago it was. I am not asking for a constant reminder or for you to tell me every two seconds that you are proud of me... but for goodness sake, could someone please just acknowledge my hustle and help me appreciate it?

----- rant over---