Just Friends

Can You Really Be 'Just Friends' With Your Ex? Part 2

The ongoing debate on whether or not you can really be just friends with your ex-lover...

Can You Really Be 'Just Friends' With Your Ex? Part 2

The debate about whether you can remain friends with your ex-lover or not comes with many different views and opinions. Given this, I took a "Yes or No" Instagram poll asking voters if they believe you can be just friends with your ex and why.

After the 24 hour poll and 203 votes, the final percentage came down to 39% saying yes ex's are perfectly capable of being JUST friends; while 61% said hell to the no.

There are justifications to support both sides of the debate, and I heard different reasonings from those of you who explained your side on the poll.

There are a lot of reasons why people feel like remaining friends with your ex after the relationship is a good idea. One of the reasonings on the vote for yes was that after making so much history and memories with someone, it is often hard to completely cut the person out of your life. If there was an already existing friendship prior to the romantic relationship, a lot of people especially don't want that friendship to end just because they didn't work out as a couple.

There is also a debate where the line exists between being friends and just acquaintances. If the relationship didn't work out but there were no hard feelings, in the end, it feels good to still be on amiable, civil terms with someone and not have to worry about the awkward encounter that might occur if you see each other somewhere. Or even as small as still being able to support each other in ways like congratulating them on a new job or wishing them a happy birthday.

But is there a specific situation where it is necessary and needed to cut your ex out? Is it impossible to be solely just friends with no romantic feelings involved? This is where things start to get complicated and why people believe exes should never be in the picture.

One of the reasonings on the vote for no was that especially after a long-term relationship, there are too many memories and feelings involved to where those won't get in the way of the friendship. It is difficult to act like there was no history between each other and to put all previous feelings aside. And because of this, it results in getting all caught up in each other again where you find yourselves reminiscing and doing old couple things instead of sticking to the breakup.

It also depends on the seriousness of the relationship and how it ended. If it was a nasty breakup with mean words exchanged or objects thrown (hopefully not), being friends with your ex is just never even in the question.

Another valid reason why you can't be friends with your ex is because of a current relationship you may be in. Your significant other may not be comfortable with you being buddy-buddy with your previous lover and you may avoid them in respect of your partner.

Even beyond just friends, there is also a debate about being friends with benefits and continuing a solely sexual relationship with your ex. You are both in agreement that although you don't work together as a couple, you can still work together in the bedroom with no feelings involved.

But that is the debate right there. Is "friends with benefits" possible? Can you and your ex really continue a sexual relationship with no romantic feelings at all? It all really comes down to the individual people and the components of the relationship.

Overall, I see the valid points in both sides of the topic. I believe in some cases, two individuals are perfectly capable of being friends after a breakup. However, I could also see in other cases how just avoiding your ex altogether would be the best for both of you.

Please continue voting your opinion on my social media posts and keeping up with the series. EVERY OPINION MATTERS!

Instagram: @nicolettejuliaa

Twitter: @nicolettejuliaa

E-mail: nicolettejulia@gmail.com

Including discussions based off YOUR votes and responses via Instagram: @nicolettejuliaa

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Caribbean is a place where people go for vacation, but if you set out from a cruise ship you miss out on all the beautiful culture. Their exotic beaches are nothing without their zinging food and hospitality. Locals in the Caribbean are warmhearted with a zest to live life to the fullest.

This is exactly where most of their words and phrases come from, having a good time. I definitely enjoyed myself living in the Caribbean, but it's not always about lounging. They get work done too and I've learned proper phrases for accomplishments.

Keep Reading... Show less

According to Urban Dictionary, a "simp" is defined as "a man that puts himself in a subservient/submissive position under women in the hopes of winning them over, without the female bringing anything to the table." There are many other definitions for a "simp," but basically it's shaming men who are kind to women without getting anything in return.

Let's just stop attacking nice men. Work out your own issues, don't project your shortcomings onto another man. What happened to the brotherhood? Y'all can lie for each other, but can't raise each other up? You guys can encourage murder, gang rape, and violence against women — or at least stay silent about it — but can't let your brother know it ain't cool when they bring you down for being nice to women with no expectation?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Self-Love Is The Best Love, That's Just How It Is

Do you ever feel like you can't please everyone? Self-love will do the trick.

I've been feeling a little down lately, with the understanding that friends don't last forever and that I can't always please my parents. Life has been rough for everyone lately and it's not easy to stay happy and optimistic during these times. But I promise you, you are on this earth for a reason. You are here because God formed you, to love, and to be loved.

When things are tough, realize that you have yourself always. No one can take that away from you. You will always be you. No matter who you are, what you believe, or where you've been in life, at the end of the day, you are you. You can love you, therefore giving you one reason to stay here on this Earth.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Nobody Wants To Grieve, But That's The Price We Pay For Love

Grief never comes when you think it should. It comes when a certain song comes on or the sun shines through the window just right.

Death always seems to come when life is good and everything starts to be going alright. And then out of nowhere, you're reminded of how cruel life can be. The stages of grief don't always go in order, they come in waves or all at once. Grief never comes when you think it should. It comes when a certain song comes on or the sun shines through the window just right. I take comfort in the fact that everyone experiences grief, even when you feel all alone knowing that everyone goes through a process that helps a little bit.

Keep Reading... Show less

What's Coming To And Leaving Netflix In August For Your Summer Viewing Pleasure

Just in time for another your end of summer binge-watch list.

Flower Films, Warner Bros, New Line Cinema

August is here, which means we will be losing some of our Netflix favorites but gaining some new ones. Here is a list of TV shows and movies we will be losing and gaining on Netflix during August.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Living With Bipolar Disorder Is An Everyday Battle, But I'm Fighting It

I went from depression, to anxiety, to bipolar disorder.

I've thought about how to write this since my diagnosis. I've thought about what kind of feelings it might bring up from my mom, former friends, and even myself. I've rewritten it a thousand times in my head, but never could quite get the words onto my notepad, but tonight I'm going to sit down and write it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

There's No Reason To Delay The 2020 Election Because Mail-In Votes Count Just The Same

Plus, Trump can't actually the delay the election even if he tried.

Donald Trump started Thursday out in a fury, taking to Twitter to suggest the 2020 election be delayed.

Keep Reading... Show less

I'm A Black, Gay Fashion Lover Who Grew Up In The South, And I Want To Be A Beacon For The Future

Giving your life story is never easy, but it can be, if you want to make a difference.

Jacorey Moon

Growing up in Georgia was not always the accepting place we know it to be today thanks to Atlanta. Let me preface this by saying, I had a pretty good life growing up. I was raised by a single mother who sacrificed so that I could live the life that I lived. I was spoiled rotten. One way that my mother spoiled me was through clothing.

Keep Reading... Show less

These 10 Black Women Were Our 2000s Fashion Icons — We're Still Replicating Their Looks Now

We recollect on some of the Black stars who served as fashion icons during the 2000s.

When we talk about the 2000s, it's always filled with nostalgia. For most of us, we grew up during that era with the razr flip phones or sidekicks, and decade staple designers like Juicy Couture, Von Dutch, and Ed Hardy. It was time of daring fashion choices and red carpets that we now look back on and say, "what were they wearing?"

A sector of people that exemplifies the fashion icons who ruled the 2000s, were Black women. So, I feel as though it's my duty to shine light on these fashion icons. Here they are:

Keep Reading... Show less

As a college student (really as a broke person with no cable,) Netflix is my go-to for solitude- style entertainment. My favorite types of shows to watch on Netflix by far, are dating shows.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments