I think this question will always have a hazy answer until the end of time, because the answer can be different pertaining many things. I think some major things that should be asked are the following;
How Long Was The Relationship?
Now, this can be tricky. I had a boyfriend that lasted only a few days. We broke up because we decided we were better off friends. Granted, we don’t talk as much anymore, but we had that mutual respect. Then again, I was also only 15 years old. So I had no concept of what really went into a relationship.
I had another relationship that was about a month, and that one ripped me apart. We may not have been together long, but we had a strong connection. He took my heart and slammed it on the floor, and to this day I still don’t understand what went wrong. After he ran, we never spoke again.
But the one relationship I had that was my longest one, being about 2 years, is the one that I actually remain somewhat friendly with. We were friends for a year and a half before we decided to get together, and we always promised to stay friends if we broke up. Three years later, we have.. sort of. Which leads to the next question…
How Deep Were The Feelings?
This is kind of weird. I had feelings so deep where I could never speak to them again, and feelings where I couldn’t imagine not speaking to them. My one month guy and I fell hard quick (or so I thought,) and after he dumped me out of the blue, I could never imagine speaking to him again in my life. I felt so disrespected and mistreated that I truly couldn’t look him in the eyes.
But then there’s Mr. Two Year, who I still can’t seem to shake. Not in an emotional way, but he became my best friend. Relationship or not, he’s still someone I want to keep around. He’s been there through a lot of hardship in my life, even though he’s been one the past three years. Not to say our friendship hasn’t been rocky, but we try to maintain a normal and healthy friendship. Things didn’t end on a negative note with us, so it was easy to be peaceful with one another. Which brings us to the third question..
How Did It End?
Now, I’m telling you right now – if you cheat on me, I will NEVER talk to you again. Ever. Don’t expect any kind of forgiveness or friendship or kindness out of me, because you are some of the lowest of the low in my eyes, and this has happened with not one, but two boys I had in my life. If you decide to just dead me out of nowhere, then there is also no chance of us being friends. But if you are mature and civil enough to end things with me in a kind and normal matter, I will consider not hating your guts. So far, not many of you have done so.
Being friends with an ex is definitely possible, but it all depends on these terms. If someone did you wrong, there’s no reason to have them in your life. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. However, if things ended just because of distance or because you both felt you were headed in different directions, there’s no need to cut them out completely. It’s possible, just try to make it as less awkward as possible.
